Stupid reasons we dump men

My advertising friends will kill me, but this is cracking me up big-time, and I just had to share. I will happily swear on a stack of Bibles that this wasn't me....

Kept Pitching the Advantages of the Compact Model

20-something girl: I once broke up with a guy because he was too small.
Queer: Yikes.
20-something girl: It wouldn't have been a problem if he could have, you know, made up for it in other ways.
Queer: He wasn't creative?
20-something girl: He was in advertising.

--26th St, between 7th & 8th
via Overheard in New York, Dec 12, 2006

If nothing else, this just illustrates the stupid reasons that girls break up with guys. I'm guilty of it myself, and no, I'm not particularly proud of it.

I think the worst reason I ever broke up with a guy was because he wore clip-on ties. I wasn't in junior high when it happened, either, it was the summer I turned 21. It wasn't the ties in particular that turned me off so much, but the fact that it was the final straw in a long list of immaturities that turned me off of this guy. Frankly, the only reason I stuck around as long as I did was because I found his roommate insanely hot, and I wasn't sure how I was going to finagle seeing the hottie if Clippy was gone.

Sadly, as it turns out I didn't have to worry about it. To this day, I'm still not entirely sure how this came to be, but within a day of me finally offloading Clippy (for some bullshit reason that I'm sure sounded ok but didn't involve clip-on ties or the word "funner"), a message appeared on my answering machine from the hottie...

"Clip on ties, you've GOT to be kidding me. Never come back to our apartment again."Then again, considering that it was a wellness apartment at Vista Way, there wasn't a snowballs chance of that happening. Seriously, what was I thinking?

If you thought that I learned my lesson, think again. Just this year, I dumped a guy for the very reasons that the girl in the quote above ditched her man. Again, I SWEAR this wasn't me because he wasn't in advertising, journalism (mmmm, journalists), or any of the other so-called creative positions. If he had been, it may have helped, but we can't be sure. I did, however, make the mistake of telling my girlfriends exactly why I had dumped him -- a fact that came back to haunt me over dinner with my friend's new boyfriend one night. I was telling K's new boy that the "timing just wasn't right" between old boy and me, when either B or C suddenly went, "Timing, is that what you're calling it?" At first I had no idea what they were talking about; then I did....

I love my friends, really.