The drinking game is coming, but first you'll need the drinks. Depending on what side you're on, you'll need a different set of supplies. For extra fun, make sure to order the drinks by their "official Beltway Names!"
The drinks are real, guaranteed to make a 16 year old page do all sorts of dirty, dirty things*, and can all be found in The Bartender's Black Book: Fourth Edition. I'm going to make you buy the book yourself, but to make it almost as easy as Monica or the people advertising "random encounters" on Craigslist (You know who you are!), I gave you the page numbers.
Go forth, stock up on booze, check back for the drinking game, and add your own suggestions in the comments!
Drinks for Republicans
- American Sour (9)
- George W. Bush - Artificial Intelligence (11)
- Michael Brown - Hurricane (58)**
- Mark Foley - Wanna Probe Ya (132)
- Condi Rice - PMS (93)
- Dennis Hastert - Dark Secret (33)
- Katherine Harris - Banshee (13)
- Dick Cheney - Shot in the Dark (110)
- Scooter Libby - Spy's Demise (116)
- George Allen - White Baby (135)
Drinks for Democrats
- Betsy Ross (15)
- Bill Clinton - Banging the Captain 3 ways on the Comforter (13) (also known as a Gary Condit and a Ted Kennedy)
- Hillary Clinton - Empire State Slammer (38)
- John Kerry - 38th Parallel Coffee (123) (also known as a John McCain)
- Patrick Kennedy - Smooth Driver (113)
- Cynthia McKinney - Skull Cracker (111)
- Nancy Pelosi - California Mother (26)
- Bob Woodward - Deep Throat (34) (also known as a Monica Lewinsky)
* Not that I'm suggesting that you make a 16 year old page do dirty, dirty things. Clearly, that sort of behavior is reserved for members of Congress and people who obviously don't watch Dateline NBC. If you're going to make someone do dirty, dirty things, make sure that they're at least 18. I'm just saying...
** And if you didn't see that one coming, I'm sure there's a job opening at FEMA for you in Emergency Preparedness...
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