What is it with these guys lately?

This unfortunate loser was on the Today Show this morning talking about this email that he sent to Kate, a girl he met at a BBQ and who he hoped to see again socially. Kate, of course, got a little creeped out by it and forwarded it on to her friends, who forwarded to their friends, and lo and behold in a few short weeks, Joe was appearing on the American news media and getting emails from Japan.

Here is the email, in its entirety, with (of course), my thoughts and comments thrown in....

Hello Kate, It's Joe - we met at Andrew's party. I hope you don't mind me getting your e-mail address from the e-mail that Andy sent to us all; it is a bit sneaky of me.

Eh, not so sneaky. I've done that sort of stuff plenty of times. Plus, in the Internet age, it's no different from asking your friend for his friend's number. I'd let it go.

It was wonderful to meet you on Saturday, and I wonder if you would consider meeting me for coffee sometime; maybe at the Tate Modern? OK. This is where my common sense is telling me to stop, keep it simple and positive Joe.

Let's review. When dealing with a member of the opposite sex and you're vacillating between ending the convo and pushing it just a little, your common sense will usually weigh in to tell you to stop. ALWAYS go with that instinct. Nothing good can come of continuing.

And the probability of me listening to that voice? Experience has taught me that it is not worth putting up a fight; I will end up giving in to the part of me that never wants to find itself shaking its head and muttering 'if only?'

This is the part where I throw caution to the wind; the part where I listen to my heart and remember that I should live my life as an exultation and revel in the opportunity to try; the part where I refuse to apologise for who I am; the part where I trust that the lady I met on Saturday night is, as I suspect, able to see sincerity where others would see cliche.

And this is where things just start to go terribly, terribly wrong. You see, Joe, the lady you met on Saturday night didn't see sincerity or cliche. She saw an opportunity to share a joke with her friends. Who saw an opportunity to share with their friends, and...

I am fortunate enough to have been able to collect a number of special memories. They are memories of moments that made any struggle leading up to them worthwhile. They are memories of moments when I am struck by something so beautiful, time stands still and all of the ugliness in the world ceases to exist.

Your smile is the freshest of my special memories. Regardless of whether we see each other again, I will use it as I do my other special memories. I will call on it when I am disheartened or low.

You're an Internet joke now, Joe. How special is that memory now, buddy?

I will hold it in my heart when I need inspiration. I will keep it with me for moments when I need to find a smile of my own.

How many times do you think Kate read that line making sure that he wasn't expressing a desire to hold HER heart in HIS HANDS?

I am unsure of all my motives for sharing this with you

Because you're crazy?

and, if I am honest, not ready to examine them too closely.

And there's the line that tells me he's in therapy!

However, I know that it makes me feel good to believe that maybe, if you are ever upset, knowing that I will be keeping your smile alive might help you through.

Oh yes, the fact that some creepy loser-type is keeping my smile alive (and, quite possibly, in a jar somewhere) always makes me feel better when I'm a little upset about the turn of my life. What the hell is he thinking?

If you are half as intelligent and aware as I believe you to be, I am sure that you will find what I have written, in the very least, sweet. If I am twice as lucky as I would dare to hope, you will find this note charming and agree to contact me and arrange a date.

Or your murder...

Either way, I trust that your reply will be candid - you told me how much you value honesty. One last thing, I promise that it is enormously rare for me to stray as far from sobriety as I managed on Saturday night. Be safe. Joe.

And here we have the explanation...beer goggles. Joe never stood a chance with Kate, the Beer Goggles just made him think that he did. Then, he got high (not drunk, since he apparently doesn't do that that all that often) and thought that this note was a great idea.

And, can we talk about the closing? BE SAFE. Joe, you might have thought that was an acceptable closing, but the rest of the note gave off a "be safe, I'll be watching" vibe. Not cool, seriously.

Joe, you seemed like a nice guy talking to Matt Lauer this morning. Kudos to you for not hiding behind that email and getting some press out of the whole thing. Maybe it'll pay for some dental work and writing lessons...I'm just saying, it could help.