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How much would you want to hurt a bridesmaid who signed on for your
wedding, got a dress, and then went AWOL on you?

No, it's not me. Rest assured I'm not that evil. Kim accepted an
invitation to be a bridesmaid in our friend Lisa's wedding this weekend
(along with me), but thanks to some legal issues right around New Years,
she disappeared. We're 4 days away, she hasn't been in any sort of
communication about the shower or bach (neither of which she showed up
at), and Lisa still has her dress. Since she's been on a major diet (at
least the last time anyone talked to her she said she was starting one),
there's a shot that alterations are needed. How are those going to be
done?!!??!!??

Lisa's decided that if she shows, she's not eating (go Lisa!). She's
also printing the programs tonight, so we'll see if Kim makes it in
there. Lisa's not going home after the RD on Friday, and I told her
that she should "forget" to bring Kim's dress with her. It's not Lisa's
problem if Kim -- who, since the dresses showed up the week of the
Superbowl, has had plenty of time to pick hers up -- can't be bothered
to do so until the night before the wedding. Hell, even the girl who
lives in South Carolina has hers!!

None of us can figure out why, if there were such issues, she didn't
just decline the invite to be in the wedding. At the very least, she
could have dropped the wedding when things got bad, and Lisa would have
had time to adjust. Lisa's strangely calm about it all (at least she
was at the bachelorette party -- actually, can you be strangely calm at
one of those?), Dave's freaking out, and I'm going back and forth
between not caring about ever seeing her again and wanting to call her
out on how impossibly bitchy she's being. The worst part is that I
don't think she even realizes what problems she's causing...she's
flaking out as usual, but even when I told her to go pick up her dress
(over 3 weeks ago), because it's causing our friend stress, she's still
not reacting.

With every wedding, there's a lesson learned. Takeaway from this one:
don't put her anywhere near it!