is it to come up with four names? Seriously, when parents have twins, why do they have to saddle their children with alliteration or onomatopoeia? It's bad enough that these kids have to share a birthday and teachers and practically every other experience for the 18 or so years that they're stuck together, but to not be able to express their individuality in their names is particularly bad.
One of the perks of my job is that I often get to see what parents these days think is a good idea to stick their children with (at least until marriage). Sure, parents still come up with cruel jokes like "Dorothy Gayle, " "Tom Morrow," and "Symphoni Hall", but for the most part, parents have let the practice of coming up with truly fucked-up names for their singular offspring fall by the wayside. Believe me, the world thanks them for it....
Twins, however, remain a different story, and I think it's getting worse. More and more parents, faced with the prospect of changing two sets of dirty diapers, have let all creativity fly out the window and saddle the kids with matching first names AND identical middle names. Seriously, people do you not see the problems that having two kids named Cory and Cody Edward Smith is going to cause? If the SSNs are close together, you're going to have to start hoping that neither of the kids ends up being a bank-robber because that sort of thing will haunt his brother for the rest of his life. As soon as Cody goes into the clink, Cory better kiss his dreams of running for political office goodbye.
Even worse than giving your children matching monikers, however, is giving one of them a name that implies that he or she isn't quite as good as the sibling. Not one for fairy tales
I'm sure, I hope, that it was the drugs talking therefore, when the new mother of twins looked at her children and deemed that one of them was to be named "Diamond," and the other "Diamonique." Not Diamond and Ruby, but DIAMONIQUE.
In case I haven't said it lately, thanks Mom and Dad for not naming us Janet and Julia or Lisa and Lindsay. THANK YOU!
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