My 10 Year Reunion

So the reunion is almost upon us and so far only 80 tickets have been

sold for a class of 493. This could be construed as a little sad, but
what's even more sad is the fact that now that I've seen the list of
people who have purchased tickets, I'm not sure if I even want to go
anymore.

It's not that I don't want to see the people that have signed up to
attend (or their wives), it's just that there were some people that I
was hoping to see there, and they haven't yet purchased tickets. I
suppose I could email them to encourage them to attend, but seriously
how is that email going to go?

Hey XXX, it's me. I know I haven't talked to you in 10 years, but I
just took a look at the list of people who have signed up for our
10-Year, and I'm seeing a serious lack of hot, single guys. I know you
were a total hottie last time I saw you and if I'm any indication, our
class is much like a fine wine -- only getting better with age. Since
the only way I'm seriously going to survive a weekend confronting almost
every insecurity that plagued me for four years while attending the damn
school the first time around is to get impossibly drunk, I was wondering
if you'd reconsider attending. At the very least (like if you're
involved with someone who is a little scary or impossibly sweet), you'll
give me something nice to look at/flirt shamelessly with and will save
me from gouging my eyes out while Erin R. lectures me on the perils of
drinking and driving.

I think not.

Maybe I should just email them and encourage them to attend without the
ulterior motives so shamelessly outlined. As we all remember, I haven't
had the best luck rekindling connections from elementary school
(different school...ScaryBen won't be there and I totally wouldn't
encourage him even if I did graduate with him). I'm hoping that this
could be different. For starters, the people I'm talking about have
actually left Va. Beach (yes I realize that ScaryBen did too, but he
returned to his parents' house when he got back from Japan) and are no
longer living with their parents. That, in my book, is always a great
first step. Secondly, the individuals in question have never projected
psychotic tendencies. They know how to use a telephone and would never
presume to call get completely high at 9 in the morning, call a girl at
her stuffy office, and NOT GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE when she asks him to;
nor would they call the same girl over 50 times in a 48 hour period --
mostly after midnight. Ok, really I don't know this to be a fact, but I
do know that each crazy-boy has his own personal MO, and while many may
attempt to copy off each other (how many door-bangers and insane callers
have I encountered since college?), they each escalate differently and
must be dealt with in different ways. Plus, the crazy-boys don't tend to
be successful and secure and if they show up to this thing, they must
be, right?

Or maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and get back to work....