Lockdown?

So I'm training today, and all of a sudden, the school goes into "Red Bear." Apparently, that's the code for "oh crap, we're in lockdown."

We think it's a drill, so we keep on training.

Then, all the secretaries get up and leave (which brings the # of folks in my class to 1!)

Then, we get locked in by the custodian. Ok, maybe this isn't a drill...

Then, we get a phone call. "Yeah, just want to let you know what's going on. There's a guy in one of the houses next to the school. He's got a machine gun."

Is it time to drink yet?

Sports

What a weekend for local sports. First, Bel Air’s Kimmie Meissner smashes all expectations and wins the World Figure Skating Championships on Saturday. Then George Mason University continues its Cinderella Season by (again) smashing all expectations and ending up in the Final Four.

I’m glad for both winners. I just wish Kimmie’s victory had ranked just a little time on the SI.com or CNN.com front pages. With so much bad news in the world this past weekend, it would have been nice to see just a little good coming through…especially since the victory was such a shock. She’s arrived on the world stage, and though she may not have that powerhouse name like Kwan or Cohen, Fleming or Hamill, she has the talent to become one of the next great American women skaters. After all, thanks to the new rules, this was her first season of eligibility for the “big girl” events. To win World Championships on her first time out is phenomenal. I have no doubt that her next big trip to Canada (Vancouver in 2010) will be just as successful.

To be fair, Good Morning America Sunday did a nice interview with her. Not sure how her Prom Date (who was declared not a “real date,” but a “friend date”) feels about it though.

GMU, on the other hand, got all the airplay that any team in the Final Four rightfully deserves. Their invitation to the Big Dance was controversial, but their fairy godmother has come through for them, and it’s not quite midnight yet. I’m looking forward to a great game next Saturday night. Really, if Madison couldn’t have made it to the dance, it’s nice to see our neighbor to the north (and CAA conference mate) doing so well.

81N, 66E – GO PATS GO.

From Anderson Cooper's blog

Freshman year, this guy HT (that didn’t stand for anything either…his full name was HT) and I set up this game of ASoxination in our two dorms. Basically, we had to stalk people, hit them with (clean) socks, and whoever was left standing at the end won. This entry from Anderson Cooper brought back a bunch of memories. :)

Angelinos and New Yorkers hunted by 'assassins'

Not being Mike Wallace or part of a contingent of paparazzi, I usually don't hide in bushes or dark stairways to ambush people. But that's exactly where I was a few days ago -- and, oh yeah, on the roof of someone's apartment, too.

We're doing a story on these amateur "assassins," who hide out looking to "kill" their target. Sounds violent, but it's actually part of an elaborate game called "StreetWars: Killer." Think paintball, but played with water guns. And not in some arena, but on the streets of Los Angeles or New York City.

Some 200 people are given a list of targets to kill -- and when I say "kill," I mean shoot with a water gun or hit with a water balloon. So you've got your list. But at the same time, you are on someone else's list. So while you're out there looking for your targets, someone else is looking for you. All you get to start is a picture, a name, some basic info. The players Google each other, look through records, and do all kinds of other stuff to find out where their targets work and play.

We were assigned to "Agent Tuna," a 20-something woman living in Hollywood. We scheduled the interview days earlier and called when we were on our way, but when I knocked on her door, she was so paranoid she wouldn't let us in for 5 minutes, not until we proved we were with CNN and not trying to set her up.

Pretty soon we were on the road, driving by her targets' homes. We were literally crouching in bushes, crawling on the ground, waiting for these people to come home.

I thought this game was silly at first, but after a few hours, I started to feel paranoid too. I was looking around, watching my back, getting nervous about getting found out. Then I would get excited when cars pulled up, thinking it might be our -- or rather, her -- target.

At one point, we climbed up a lady's balcony to hop over to the roof. Later that night, we crouched in a dark stairwell for hours, after "Agent Tuna" got a lead that her target was on her way home.

I asked her: Do you realize how ridiculous we seem sitting here in some alley on a Thursday night? She said she asks herself that question all the time, but the adrenaline rush is so incredible she keeps coming back for more. I found this out for myself.

Just as we were packing to leave, "Agent Tuna's" target finally came home. But she missed. And then she missed her second one too. We waited hours in that dark stairway for her third to arrive. Just when it looked like the night would be a bust, targets two and three ambushed her. Number three got away, but Melissa recorded her first "kill" when she blasted target two. Now all she has to do is get the other ones...and watch her own back.

The saga of Samantha

How far would you go to stop a wedding?

My favorite radio station (Q100 Atlanta) is sponsoring the Annual Running of the Brides in Atlanta this morning. Even before they named the date, the morning show was getting phone calls from a woman named Samantha demanding that another woman (Carly) be BANNED from the running of the brides.

The reason? Four years ago, Carly “stole” Samantha’s fiancé. Now they’re getting married, and Samantha, isn’t over the loss.

Before calling The Bert Show, Samantha had already cancelled the photographer and double-booked the reception site. The gown was the next step. If she couldn’t interfere with getting the gown, she was going to find out where it was being dry-cleaned and then she was going to prevent them from getting a marriage license.

Three phone calls in, and she was going nuts. The show asked for a description of the “nemesis.” Samantha gave it to the producer willingly with the understanding that they were going to put her on the radio and confront her about what she did. Samantha kept claming that they weren’t listening to the full story…of course they weren’t, they were listening to HER story and the “nemesis” hadn’t had been allowed to speak.

Finally, on the last call, Bert set her off big-time. He said, “If we find her, we’re going to let her in the night before.”

“WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!??!! WHY WOULD YOU PUT SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON ON THE VIP LIST? I ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU.”

That was Wednesday. Bert said that if the girl called up, they would let her in early just for her own protection.

They were also going with the idea that it could have been a hoax, but this morning, Bert announced that after the Wednesday show, one of the other DJs got a phone call from Samantha’s coworker that lent credibility to the whole thing. The coworker kept going on and on about how Samantha let the whole situation consume her day at work and wasn’t getting the work done. Then the nemesis calls up and identifies herself.

Needless to say, she went in last night early.

So SAMANTHA calls again and goes off. She claimed to be on the way down to confront them and to tell the entire city not to listen to the show. They were going to put her on the radio and put her photo on the website (basically out her).

The show ended, but she didn't come down to scream at them.

There is a theory that it’s an elaborate hoax; that Samantha is really the girl who showed up last night to get the dress. The show’s hoping that it’s the case because that would mean that the bride isn’t in danger. The problem is that if that's true, why would she call in again this morning? That doesn't make sense.

Here's hoping that the bride and groom elope and then have a great party for their day. The important thing is that they get married with or without the crazy girl.

To hear the crazy, click here.

A Letter to Representative Bernie Sanders (I-VT)

This morning, Yahoo!News reported that the people of Vermont voted on a referendum to begin impeachment proceedings against President Bush. Upon hearing that, however, the Independent Representative Bernie Sanders – these people’s voice in Congress – said it was “impractical” to speak of impeachment because the Republican Party controls both the House and the Senate.

Not one to accept the “why do it, we’ll lose anyway” argument as a reason to back down from an important battle, I wrote a letter to Representative Sanders this morning. I’m proud of the letter, so here it is…

Representative Sanders:

I am not from Vermont, but I am so proud of your state for their recent referendum on the Impeachment of President Bush. It's about time someone stepped up and said that the activities of this administration are wrong.

Representative Sanders, this is why I'm so confused about your statement that to talk about impeachment is "impractical." Yes, the Republicans do control the House and the Senate, but to back down from the position taken by your constituents just because you think you can't win is wrong. That would be akin to the 1980 US Hockey team going, "We lost against the Soviets two weeks ago, we should probably stay home from the games."

In the late 1990s, the Republican-controlled Congress took the President's sex life and made it center stage. Yes he lied, but if my sexual activities were about to be broadcast across the globe, I think I would lie too. The important thing is that when he lied, it was to protect his personal reputation and his family. NO ONE DIED and no one's civil liberties were jeopardized.

President Bush too has lied. The difference is, however, is that his lies have cost more than 2,000 of our brave men and women their lives and worn away our civil liberties to the point that a High School teacher can't practice free speech without losing his job, a same-sex couple who pays their taxes and votes regularly cannot marry, and the President, under the guise of "National Security" can wire-tap someone just because he has the wrong color skin. In fact, the only part of the Bill of Rights that this administration seems to acknowledge these days is the Right to Bear Arms (and we saw how well that one worked out). WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?

Representative Sanders. This country needs a hero ala Jefferson Smith. My generation needs an individual who bucks the administration and takes a stand for what's right; not what's popular. What's happening in Washington right now is not only wrong, it's scary. Your constituents have called you to open a case for impeachment against the President and his cronies for war crimes both here and abroad. I encourage, I beg you to rethink your position and take the wishes of the people of Vermont to the hill. Show them that the government is still by the people, for the people and that civil liberties are still just as important as they were when our forefathers signed the Constitution.

Thank you

Zicam

Looking at the Zicam box, I realized that the Cold Remedy Chews are “Non-Habit Forming.” I know why…they taste horrendous!

It's Oscar Day!

I love the Academy Awards. It's not that I'm a big movie fan. Frankly, everything really sucked this year. It's really the red-carpet fashion bowl that I'm down with. This year, I'm watching E!

To make things interesting, I'm going to drink once every time...
1) Mizrahi gropes someone.
2) One of the hosts name-drops their other projects.
3) Someone makes a gay-cowboy joke.

5:30 - Seacrest in! He's so cute...he's an Oscar virgin. He's asking people to write in their questions to ryan@eonline.com and, of course, vote in on their favorite looks. Will the users be taken off the red carpet? No? Because that would be so much fun!

5:32 - Ooooh, Seacrest just admitted to being a bitch.

5:33 - Seacrest is turning it over to another bitch - Mizrahi!! He's vowing to behave. Dammit.

5:45 - I'm losing interest already...oh FINALLY, the first red-carpet celeb. Unfortunately, it's has-been, Ridgemont High alumn, Jennifer Jason Leigh. She's married to a nominee that Julia was salivating over for all of 5 seconds. Then, she realized it wasn't Adrian Brody. Not-Adrian is up for something, but Mizrahi won't tell us what it is. Oh well, I guess the nominees aren't really that important after all.

5:51 - First American Idol mention courtesy of Finola Hughes! Thank you, Finola, for encouraging me to drink. Now, please allow me to encourage YOU to return to General Hospital.

6:02 - Oh Seacrest, please don't dance. Ever. Ever...EVER.

6:06 - Jon Stewart is just too cute. He's also really good about accepting gifts -- especially those that can kill his new baby!

6:08 - Poor Naomi Watts. It looks like King Kong got ahold of her dress in the limo.

6:17 - Nick Nolte's special dress-up look is only slightly better than this.

6:18 - The penguin people are adorable with their security penguins.

6:20 - The US Weekly guy just threatened to streak the red carpet nekkid with Mizrahi if Jennifer Aniston shows up with Vince Vaughn. For the love of Christ, Jennifer. If he's in the limo, kick him out...KICK HIM OUT!

6:26 - Tyson Beckford is dressed again. Damn.

6:29 - Seacrest gives money to charity and is immediately told to go to break. Seacrest may be out before the end of the broadcast. He's supposed to be starting at E! News Daily tomorrow -- that job may be toast too.

6:32 - My FAVORITE local commercial is on. Oh yes, the Morton Funeral Homes have advertised on basic cable!! My night is complete!

6:33 - Back from commercial, and Seacrest isn't back.

6:34 - Diabetic in a candy store? Mizrahi is facing off with Dolly Parton.

6:37 - Clooney alert. The man is beautiful.

6:39 - Six minutes back, and Seacrest is still out....

6:41 - Yay! Seacrest is still employed!! And he dropped another Idol mention. I get to drink again!

6:42 - Kiera Knightly is gorgeous.

6:53 - I could totally see Will Smith and Will Ferrell doing a film together. Jada doesn't look like she'd like the idea though.

6:56 - Seacrest. We get it. Your Oscar cherry is being popped tonight. Get over it. The rest of the country is.

7:02 - Nothing says chic like giant Diamond Studs on a man.

7:03 - Attention Oscar Guests. Hair should be brushed BEFORE exiting the vehicle. Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter...I'm talking to you!!

7:10 - Pop Quiz, Hotshot: your husband refuses to attend the Oscars with your possibly-pregnant self. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?? Answer: take Keanu Reeves as your date.

7:23 - William Hurt has no idea what to do with Mizrahi. How painful is that.

7:24 - Nicole Kidman is in white. Is a late-night trip to the JOP in order?

7:25 - I have no clue who Mizrahi is talking to, but it looks like she left her bra at home. Drew Barrymore needs to sit with this chick.

7:28 - Keanu Reeves totally reminds me of Andy. Is it just me that thinks that?

7:29 - Nothing says security in your marriage like your hand on your husband's ass. Nice job, Reese!

7:30 - And... Secreast OUT. All in all, a little slow. I only got to drink three times, and Mizrahi behaved himself too well. Seacrest survived his first Oscar hosting duties, but like all virgins, he should have just done and not talked. However, I'll take Seacrest and Mizrahi over Joan and Melissa any day of the week!!

While the rest of Baltimore was working....

I had only been at work for an hour and a half when I received a frantic phone call.

"Get out of the office right now!" My sister screamed.

I was panicked. What could possibly be wrong? Did she see a news report about a threat to my building? Was her blood sugar high again? Did the cat get run over by a truck? WAS THE HOUSE ON FIRE?

No, thank God. It was just that a little television show...my FAVORITE little television show for the last 7 years was in town.

I busted out of the office citing "Lyman Disease" and "Lowe" Blood Pressure. Ran home, grabbed a camera and raced down to Mary Our Queen. Over the next two hours, I took as many pictures as they allowed (well, didn't allow, but I learned that late and they didn't make me delete 'em.). While trying to get warm, I toured the church (thank God for Lent) and got in my Lenten Friday Prayers.

I took some great shots of Bradley Whitford, Jimmy Smits, Teri Polo, and John Aylwand (Dr. Anspaugh) -- the only Principals there. Definitely a huge thrill.

When the show airs, look for the woman to Josh's left in the camel coat and black boots, carrying a red purse. She's a fan who was standing around and just jumped into a background shot.

Update (3/8/06) - This photo made DCist (with the comment) Check out the link!

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss

I arrived at Winfield Elementary school today to find quite the surprise awaiting me. Everyone was wearing these tall, striped hats reminiscent of a certain cat. I was starting to think everyone had lost it, but when I arrived in the library, there was absolutely no question as to what was going on.

It's Dr. Seuss' birthday!!!

I can still clearly remember when Dr. Seuss turned 80. All of us had little red and white striped hats and ate green eggs and ham topped off with birthday cake. The newspaper was there, and Julia, cute as ever, ended up being on the front page of the Metro section. My parents still have the clipping somewhere.

It's been over twenty years since that birthday celebration, and Theodor Geisel died in 1991. However Dr. Seuss lives on. When I graduated from high school, Chris gave me a copy of Oh, the Place's You'll Go! I read that book cover to cover multiple times during my freshman year of college, and Dad still hands out copies of it to every graduate that he's encountered since then. The Lorax was required viewing during my Environment 101 class. Frankly, it's lots of fun when you realize that you're watching cartoons the entire class period; not so much fun when you realize that you're going to be tested on the content.

So Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss, and Thank You. Thank you for the Cat, the Hat, the Eggs, the Ham, the Lorax, the Fish, the Grinch, Horton and all the places we went together.

I have been at work for 4 hours

And I haven’t done anything of substance.

This morning, my day has been consumed with detailing the account of last night’s date, ego-searching Kristen’s creepy boyfriend, and figuring out what type of information is needed for a background check. To say the least, it’s not been a productive day by any means….

The Lonely Lawyer

Well, that’s $24 and 45 minutes I’ll never get back.

Those were the first thoughts that had crossed my mind when I left the Wine Market after my date with Chris. Yes, for those keeping score, that is now the eight or ninth Chris in my dating career (though the first one this year). This one, like most of the Jims, will never make it past the first date. So sad for him.

If you know the story of how we met, you can skip this part…If you don’t, keep reading…

Chris and I had originally started talking on Match.com. Then, about a month ago, I ran into him at SpeedDating. Of course, I didn’t realize who he was until the girls and I were doing the post-event analysis. It took him two more days, but he FINALLY got a clue, and he asked me out.

The night of our supposed first date, I was working around the clock and cancelled on him. Then, I was ill for two weeks, then he was ill, and needless to say, we kept missing each other. The problem was that we also stopped emailing each other except to set up/cancel the date. By the time we finally settled on last night, I had forgotten who this guy was and why I was even going out with him.

Which brings us to last night…

Since I never know how much time it takes to get anywhere in Baltimore, I arrived 15 minutes early. I did what any self-respecting early-girl would do; I bellied up to the bar and ordered. You can tell a lot about how the night is going to go by the bartender you meet, and this guy had a stick so far up his butt that I knew that the night was in for a bad turn. I ordered my Sangria ($3 at the bar, not sure how much it is at a table, but all in all, pretty good).

Chris arrives, and though I had assumed that we were meeting for drinks as most normal first dates do, he says, “So, do you want to go to the table?”

Oh wait, we’re having dinner!!??!!

The first thing I noticed about him was that he wasn’t moving his right arm. We’re talking Bob Dole here people. Considering that I know people our age who have had strokes, I didn’t comment. However, I kept watching to see if I was being paranoid or if there was really an issue. When he took his coat off, I realized that he wasn’t a stroke victim, he was just lazy.

We sat down, and the complaining started before his rear hit the chair.

First, it was too cold in the restaurant. Then, the wine tastings (Which we weren’t on in the first place) were too expensive…though, his outer/inner monologue kept pressing on with “But at least you get a light meal with that.” Then, he couldn’t figure out what size wine to get. Was 3 oz. too little (standard size is 4 oz for those playing at home)? Was 6 oz too much? I, of course, was too polite to order the super-mag of wine that I needed to get me through this. And why couldn’t he get the Happy Hour wine that I had?? Finally, though he claimed to know wines, and finally ordered a Riesling, he didn’t know how to say it. It wasn’t as bad as ChaBLISS, but it was close, and this is a guy who claimed to know all about wines and the local vineyards!

Side note to those who are planning to patronize the Wine Market in Locust Point: Stay at the bar for the Happy Hour specials. Twenty feet can make a lot of difference.

He started slamming on the people he went to college with. He doesn’t keep in touch with any of them, and I got the sense that he felt superior to all of them – especially the one who works at The Home Depot because he couldn’t find a “real job” after college. He was just going on and on about how dumb this guy was. I was flailing for conversation, so I brought up the Olympics. Though he claimed to like sport, he didn’t know anything about any of the Olympians or the sports. He also accused Home Depot of false advertising in their claims of employing more Olympians than any other company. I even told him where the claim came from (I’m a geek; I looked it up!) and he said it was still false advertising. I started to think he was the dumb one.

Then, Baltimore took a beating. Thankfully, I had been warned about his feelings about taxes from one of the girls who met him at Speed Dating. This meant that instead of getting offended, I spent the time trying not to laugh in his face. I’m sure whomever the rant before heard the exact same text because it sounded like he was reciting from memory!! To sum up…he hates the city in general, the BCPD, the taxes, and the government. He lives in the suburbs of Ellicott City, which is nice and a great place to raise kids (!!!). I started to think he was a little creepy. Really kids, is this proper first date conversation? I think not.

He asked about my job and why Good Morning America was at my house (They were supposed to come interview Jules but ended up canceling. That’s another story.) Then, when I was explaining Airtroductions, he got confused about the basic concepts and called it a “stupid idea,” (which was basically cover-speak for “I don’t get it, and I’m done looking like an idiot”). At that point, I knew there was no going back.

All though this time, we were eating. Well, I should say that I was nibbling because most of the conversation fell to me. He, on the other hand, was chowing down on like Jesus Christ on Holy Thursday. That right arm was active now, and it held the fork that stabbed his fish (hey buddy, they DO kill it before they cook it, you know) and shoved it in his mouth. I’ll admit that I did get some sense that he was trying to get out of there pretty quickly, but to eat with his mouth open was just plain rude. Then, he kept quizzing me about things so I couldn’t eat. Finally, I declared myself full (with only about 3 bites taken), and got the waitress to box it for me. MMMMMM, Lamb for Lunch!!

Finally, the bill arrived. Again, as is common first date polite custom, I reached for my wallet. Normally, I expect a guy to go, “I’ve got this one,” but no, he starts scrutinizing the bill and I…KID…YOU…NOT…goes, “Ok, well, it looks like it’s $18 for you.”

I threw my card down as serenely as possible, and when she brought it back, I put on enough of a tip to cover my 20% and a little extra for all the sympathetic glances she gave me. Then, he goes, “So how much tip are you putting on…” like it’s any of his business! Apparently, in his calculation, he figured his tip into his contribution and expected me to cover all of it. I did some quick math, realized I was being had, and kept on doing what I was doing.

I’m practically RUNNING for the door now, but first we have to traverse the obstacle that is the wine store. In one of his rants (this one about the wine store), he kept claiming that they didn’t have any of the Maryland wines. I was out to prove him wrong and succeeded beautifully. The first rack we got to, I saw three BALTIMORE COUNTY vineyards and told him that. He didn’t believe me until I pulled out the bottles of Basignani, Woodholme and Boordy and showed it to him. “Oh,” he tried to cover, “those are Maryland wines? Are you sure? The only one I know is Linganore.”

I thanked him for a lovely evening, and told him that I’d call him should I ever wish to go out again. Considering that the chances of that happening are about as slim as Mary Kate Olsen being caught eating a hamburger, I’m hoping that he’s not waiting by the phone.