Geeks Wanted!!!

Don't worry, I'm not knocking geeks. I ♥ Geeks...especially ones who can help me out with a little problem I'm facing.

My new gig wants me to create a character and do my new job as this particular character. For semi-obvious reasons for anyone who's ever really looked at me, the character that I've chosen is Dana Scully: Washed Up Reality TV Star.

The angle: The X-Files wasn't a fictionalized series, it was a reality show. Since it ended, Agent Scully had a choice between parlaying her fame as a reality TV star into new roles or taking a job doing what I'm doing with the new company. Since ghost-hunting seemed a less dangerous option than spending a week in a house with Vanilla Ice, Gary Coleman, and the rest of the bunch picked for the Surreal Life 27, she picks that.

The entire character needs hair, makeup, and a persona that matches closely with the actual Scully character. Hair's done (thank you, Jesus!), and the makeup and clothes seem pretty easy. I've already planned a few vital explanations (i.e. I'm not really a skeptic, it was a trick of the editors to create a character -- the standard reality TV show line), but there is a serious and singular problem that I'm having a hard time overcoming...

I have NEVER watched an episode of the X-Files all the way through.

I know, I know, welcome to 1995. I get it. However, while I'm a serious ghost-geek, I don't "do" aliens, flesh-eating bacteria, or massive bug colonies. Unfortunately, since every episode that everyone tried to make me watch featured one of those things, I never turned into a fan.
So this is where you come in. The Truth, The Knowledge...it's out there!! If anyone could possibly fill me in on the essential Scully-isms, could you please email me? I'll be spending all weekend studying my notes and watching old episodes, but you'd be helping a girl out if you could fill me in on the basics. Especially catchphrases and popular quotes. Those, seriously, would be the best.

Thanks!!