Truth be told...

I really can't get a read on how my interview went today. I know that the folks I talked to have a tremendous respect for me as a professional and a worker, but I really can't get a read on what they think of me for the new position.

Oh well, if it doesn't work out, I'll just keep working hard, taking on the new opportunities as they arise and read. A lot.

Though no decisions have been made, they tell me that the position may be up again in six months. I'm encouraged by that, definitely.

Either way, I appreciate that they thought of me. It's nice to be considered for new things. :)

About f-ing time

A couple of months ago, I wrote this post about how fed up I was about the fact that Grey's Anatomy star Isaiah Washington was being held to a different standard than all the other Hollywood Bigots of 2006.

It took awhile, but it seems that Hollywood is catching on that a double-standard isn't cool.

Of course, it took Washington saying what he said a SECOND time in a more public forum (the first time of course being in the midst of that famous on-set fight), but at least something is being done.

That's All, What's Next?

Update: Reading the news this morning, it looks like Washington actually may be fired after all. I should totally go into psychic analysis for my next career opportunity.

Interesting Conversations

So, last Friday I got a call from my boss at the consulting firm.

"Lindsay," he said, "I want to come by on Monday and talk to you about new opportunity."

My first thought, of course, went to the bad. Did my boss at the school system want to get rid of me?

Nope, as it turns out this is a good thing. An excellent thing. A thing that anyone would be out of their mind not to jump at. And of course, I'm not out of my mind, so I'm looking forward to the formal part of applying for the opportunity to manage 70 people.

Yes, I said 70. 7-0. Seven-dash-zero. Seventy.

Kinda cool, huh? I mean, it's not mine yet, but besides the whole firing thing, I think I can totally do it. It's basically keeping people happy and making sure that they're doing what they're supposed to be doing.

Plus, there's a pretty darn good chance that I'll actually get business cards. Considering that I'm now on my second job since college and haven't seen a single card, that's a good thing. For Chrissake's, my sister ran away and joined the freaking circus, and got business cards. I think I'm due.

So, stay tuned; prepared to (possibly) get pretend-fired by me (a girl needs the practice), and wish me lots of luck as I move towards this new phase in my career!!!

That's all. What's next?

It just started snowing

And for some reason, there are tons of seagulls circling outside the house across the street.

Seriously, it's like The Birds out there. I feel like Tippi Hedren...

Football Mania 2007

Now you guys know I don't watch much football to begin with, but with the Ravens out, I wasn't sure who to root for during the rest of the playoffs.

Fear Not, the NFL is here to help.

According to the answers I gave to the NFL, I need to jump on the Bandwagon and root for (drum roll please):

THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Tom Brady is a bit of a hottie. I can totally do this. Plus, the Pats' next opponent is the Colts. You don't have to have lived in Baltimore very long to figure out who the enemy is in that situation.

Dial a Boy

I’m a beautiful, intelligent, funny, girl with that auburn hair/golden eyes combination that reminds men of a certain FBI Agent that they crushed on in high school. I’m easy to get along with, a shoo-in with most mothers, and, in case you haven’t noticed, completely unlacking in the self-esteem department. My nice girl qualities mean that I have a steady supply of nice men in my life who, should I find myself conducting boyfriend-auditions once again, are more than willing to toss on a suit and accompany me to a plus-one affair with no strings attached. After all, we all know what men really think with, and these things usually have GREAT food.

All of which meant Jack-Diddly last night.

It all started Saturday when Kristen told me that the boyfriend was taking her to the O’Malley Inaugural Ball. Interesting, I thought. I figured that the tickets were way out of my price range and were probably all gone. Then yesterday, while at the inaugural in Annapolis, I realized that everyone there was talking about how “inexpensive” they were. Fifty to be exact. Open bar, tons of restaurants, and the chance to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy live ????? Oh I was so in.

Since I was freezing my butt off in Annapolis, I couldn’t really do anything until I got home. Therefore, my evening pretty much went like this:

4:30 – Arrive home, plan to check email and hit
gym.

4:45 – Get ball ticket.

4:46 – Check email. Realize that all hell has
broken loose while out of office. Decide to forego gym.

5:00 – Get in shower.

5:15 – Get call from Kristen…they have an extra
ticket. Would I like? (Damn!)

5:16 – Thank Kristen. Explain that she is half
an hour too late. Learn she’s calling around. Place request for someone hot and
single. Realize that this is a Democratic Party event. Mentally amend request to
“single and mildly attractive.”

5:30 – Start hair and makeup.

5:45 – Get call from Kristen. She can’t find
anyone. Do I have a friend I can take?

Now, keeping in mind that I do have that steady supply of dial-a-boys, I figured it wasn’t going to be much of a problem. Who cares that we’re meeting in 45 minutes, I thought? Guys have to toss on a suit, make sure they don’t stink, and brush their hair. Free Food. OPEN BAR. This, I thought, was going to be a cakewalk.

Sure, Cakewalk. I sure am a funny girl!!! I started moving down the phone list. Here they are in random order:

1. Practically Engaged
2. Insane – only in phone so I can avoid calls
3. Friend, but way too interested in me to allow him to accompany me to anything where I look hot. ANYTHING
4. Staunch Republican
5. DC
6. Engaged
7. Phone Busy
8. Married
9. See #8
10. Salisbury
11. Co-Worker
12. Forbidden
13. Um, NO
14. Kristen already called him.
15. Drunk
16. Exiled out of state for work
17. Texas
18. See #5
19. He’s still in this phone?
20. See #5
21. Too close of a relationship with #13
22. See #5
23. See #19
24. Awkward would never begin to describe what the evening would be like.
25. Suit was at drycleaners…if he wasn’t obviously interested in me, I’d swear he was "washing his hair.”
26. See # 7 (twice!)
27. See #16 – tried anyway to see if he happened to be passing through. No dice.
28. Other plans.
29. See #19. Ironically enough, I did run into him there.
30. See #16

Yes, folks, that was 0 for 31 (including another one who wasn’t in the phone, but whose number I ended up getting from one of the guys we dismissed earlier).

Then, I tried some, shall we say, “alternative” routes. This included calling my sister and asking her for the number of a guy who she had gone out with when she was living up here. He seemed nice, they didn’t really hit it off, and I figured he’d be able to pick up a few stories for his comedy routine. She refused the goods (“practically engaged” my ass) but began suggesting other people I could try. Note to self: when your sister actually describes a potential date as “I know he’s not Mr. Socially Adept, but he’s a body,” you know she doesn’t quite have your best interest at heart.

For the record, both Julia and Kristen suggested the “head-hunter” who turned the head of HR at my office into my personal dating service. I told them he was quite out of the question.

Then, knowing that we still needed to get rid of the ticket, she suggested that I move on to the girls she used to work with. After all, girls like dress-up events with lots of single successful guys (Judge Reinhold flashbacks be dammed) and a good looks at the Mayor Governor at hand. I agreed that that may have been an option, but we still faced a bit of a challenge: I had spent the entire night calling my boys, and this was Black-Tie event. We were meeting at 6:30. It was 6:15. You see where this is going…. I did call her one friend from work who thanked me and then (though she was way too nice to say it) clearly thought that I must’ve been high to propose this at such a late hour. Yeah, she was probably right.

Considering that I never really expected to have a date for the evening and anyone that I would have come up with would have been strictly platonic, I didn’t let it bother me. I got super-cute, headed to the pre-party, and promptly ran into the two guys from that October incident at Café Hon (one of whom was the guy I cancelled and reinstated the date with three times). Awkward? A little. But I was determined to enjoy myself nonetheless.

And enjoy myself I did!! Food: to die for. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy: hopping as usual. One lady asked me if they were a local band. I pointed her in the direction of “Swingers,” but I fear she may have misinterpreted that as “swingers club.” She moved away, scared. I kept dancing. Side bands: Fun dancy music. We ended up missing Kool and the Gang, but hands down the best band of the night… O’MALLEY’S FREAKING MARCH. They did three songs, and the entire crowd was going nuts. We grabbed our Guinnesses and sang along like we hadn’t heard the band in a year. Which, ok, we hadn’t.

It’s nice to be on the winning team. Even if you can’t find a last-minute date.

Geeks Wanted!!!

Don't worry, I'm not knocking geeks. I ♥ Geeks...especially ones who can help me out with a little problem I'm facing.

My new gig wants me to create a character and do my new job as this particular character. For semi-obvious reasons for anyone who's ever really looked at me, the character that I've chosen is Dana Scully: Washed Up Reality TV Star.

The angle: The X-Files wasn't a fictionalized series, it was a reality show. Since it ended, Agent Scully had a choice between parlaying her fame as a reality TV star into new roles or taking a job doing what I'm doing with the new company. Since ghost-hunting seemed a less dangerous option than spending a week in a house with Vanilla Ice, Gary Coleman, and the rest of the bunch picked for the Surreal Life 27, she picks that.

The entire character needs hair, makeup, and a persona that matches closely with the actual Scully character. Hair's done (thank you, Jesus!), and the makeup and clothes seem pretty easy. I've already planned a few vital explanations (i.e. I'm not really a skeptic, it was a trick of the editors to create a character -- the standard reality TV show line), but there is a serious and singular problem that I'm having a hard time overcoming...

I have NEVER watched an episode of the X-Files all the way through.

I know, I know, welcome to 1995. I get it. However, while I'm a serious ghost-geek, I don't "do" aliens, flesh-eating bacteria, or massive bug colonies. Unfortunately, since every episode that everyone tried to make me watch featured one of those things, I never turned into a fan.
So this is where you come in. The Truth, The Knowledge...it's out there!! If anyone could possibly fill me in on the essential Scully-isms, could you please email me? I'll be spending all weekend studying my notes and watching old episodes, but you'd be helping a girl out if you could fill me in on the basics. Especially catchphrases and popular quotes. Those, seriously, would be the best.

Thanks!!

Office Politics 101

Quick!!

Name the one thing that's ten-times worse than having a head-hunter call your office and leave a message for you with your boss.

Answer: Having a guy you met at a bar call your office and leave a message for you with your boss that sounds like it came from a headhunter.

Of course, since I'm playing this little pop-quiz, you can probably guess that that's exactly what happened this morning. About ten minutes ago, I got this lovely email from Ginny, the HR Director at my firm:

Hi Lindsay
I received a phone message for you from
Fred Name Redacted
Baltimore Chamber of Commerce
Phone Redacted

He asked that you call as soon as possible.

Instantly, I recognized Fred as the guy I met at the BJAC (Baltimore Junior Association of Commerce for those not playing along regularly -- someone probably wants to fill Fred in on that too, now that I think about it) meeting the other night. Nice guy, didn't make much of an impression, but, then again, I was having an active, interesting, conversation before he walked up and tried to insert himself with the usual new-person-small-talk. "What do you do, Where do you work," you know, those types of things.

Little did I know that the answers to those two questions would land me in my present situation. I mean, you guys know how much of an impression I can make when I'm not even trying. From what I can gather, he took the time to look up the phone number of my firm, and left a nice, succinct message with the HR Director that sounded, unfortunately, like he was looking to steal me away. Oh Goody...corporate suicide. Ironically enough, this isn't the first time that HR has gotten involved in my dating life, and while the "Chocolate Incident" and its associated nightmares is definitely a story for another time, I would have preferred the chocolate again. Yummy, and much easier to explain, by far!

After explaining myself to HR, I think they were relieved. I, of course, am mortified, and these guys don't tend to forget things. They're still asking if I'm still dating the guy (my neighbor) from our Calypso Cruise two years ago. Clearly, I'm not, but then again, I never was in the first place. Our Winter Formal is next weekend, so I'm looking forward to a night full of good-natured ribbing about Ginny being my "social director."

Silver Lining: THANK GOD the message wasn't something like "I'm looking for the hottie with the nice ass that I met out drinking on Tuesday." Because, seriously, while I work hard for my ass, I like my ass employed at a job I actually work harder at. Somehow, I'm thinking that implying that I
spend my Tuesdays bellied-up to a bar isn't going to go over too well when I've sick all week with strep-throat.

Like No One's Watching?

There are things that my body is meant to do, and things that it, apparently, isn't. One of these, clearly, is dancing.

Now, I know I can ballroom dance (despite what my friend Jon tells me that that stupid boy from our ballroom dance class told him -- then again, that stupid boy needs to realize that "Nick" is spelled with a damn "C"), and I can display a passable effort when I'm out on the floor with a group of friends, but give me any sort of forum in which I have to actually dance for others, and well, we've got a problem.

Clearly, a career on The Block is not in my future, and, social-life be damned, a private show isn't either. My apologies if that was something you were hoping for.

Since I've been sick this week, I decided to forgo my usual Monday night Body Step class and take Body Jam instead. Since it's billed as "Just as many calories, not as much bouncing," I thought I'd be easier.

Easier my ass...It was like the world's most screwed-up production of A Chorus Line. Except in the titular song (get it?) the score is more like "Dance 3, Looks 10."

You know what? Scratch that, it was worse. Imagine this: They went right, I went left. They lifted their arms up in a graceful way, I flung mine around like I was swatting flies. They were shaking it like extras from "Coyote Ugly," I was **barely** managing the African Anteater Ritual from "Can't Buy Me Love."

Yes, I'm serious. Except, remember, Dempsey had some style.

I am DETERMINED not to let this beat me. I will persevere, I will get better, and, dammit, I will burn a ton of calories doing it. The instructor is an incredibly patient woman who knows that while I'm not the most talented person in the room, I've got heart and sense enough to stay out of the way (most of the time...I hope that girl's ankle is ok...).

In the meantime, if you want a good laugh, I'll see you Mondays at 6.

UPDATE: As my sister lovingly (ha!) pointed out, I was a dance minor at JMU. However, my concentration was mostly social dancing. Tango, swing, and foxtrots are my forté. Tap, not so much.

Random Thought

Does anyone else think that the bridge to Sophie B. Hawkins' "Damn, I wish I was Your Lover" sounds like it came straight out of a song from Labyrinth? I've thought that since the song came out; it's on the radio now, and I still think that.

Thoughts? Comments?

Quiz Time

I found this quiz on my friend's blog, and I just had to take it....

The Priss Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLDf) Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss. Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy. These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards. Your exact opposite: The Playstation Random Gentle Sex Master You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing. ALWAYS AVOID: The Playboy, The Loverboy CONSIDER: The Manchild Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

I am so excited

And nervous. Nervously excited if you will. I have a job interview on Thursday (no, I'm not leaving the school system or my current consulting firm) in a spirited town for a position that requires public speaking.

Now, if anyone reading this is thinking, "Um, Linds, did you read what you just wrote? I've heard you attempt to speak in public and well, we've gotta talk because you sure can't." Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Give me a script or an interesting topic that doesn't require me reaching into the deepest depths of my soul and a reason to walk backwards, and we'll get along just fine. I've actually done just that sort of thing before.

I don't want to jinx it, so I'm not answering any questions until Thursday night. Just think lovely spirited thoughts for whatever it may be please!!

Sick

I hate being sick.

I hate the dizzy, swimmy feeling my head gets. I hate the fact that the cats don't want anything to do with me (until I have to throw up and then Minnie decides that THEN is the best possible time to crawl on top of me). I hate the idea of it being a beautiful day outside and I can't go play in it. I hate that I have to get a throat culture to rule out strep throat.

Which, of course I have.

I actually did my first throat culture in YEARS yesterday, and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. Thanks to trauma from my childhood (where the Navy doctors held me down to jab a Q-tip in my throat), I haven't been able to do it since I was about six years old without screaming and crying. As far as I've been concerned, you can look, you can't touch, and you can give me the penicillin just in case. But yesterday, the PA seemed nice, and after I explained my irrational fears, I found myself agreeing to it. I sat in the chair, and this 5'2" woman towered over me with a Q-tip.

At which point, I began hyperventilating.

After five minutes, we decided to give up. She sat down on the stool, I hunched over, and she suggested that I call Sheppard Pratt.

Then, she said, "You know, we could try it like this," meaning the seated positions we were both in.

I agreed to try and she scootched the stool over. Now, she was below me and not towering over like Nurse Ratchet. I stuck my tongue out, she moved quick, and before I started fighting her, she had exactly what she needed. Which was brown and bloody, and not at all what a "healthy throat" is supposed to look like.

So now, for the first time in probably twenty years, I am being legitimately treated for strep throat. I know how to get a throat culture done in a way that works for me, and while I still hate being sick, I do have to say thank you to a very kind and patient woman named Leslie who helped me get through it!!!

Frank Capra, eat your heart out

Have you ever looked at your life during a particular moment and realized, "by God, this is a scene from a movie!"? No, I'm not talking about those cheesy events where you attempt to recreate the final scene from Sleepless in Seattle or An Affair to Remember by taking your girlfriend to the Empire State Building for Valentines Day or any Princess Leia fantasies that your kinky boyfriend cooked up on a Saturday night. I'm talking about the natural moments that you don't recognize until just after they're over, when you find yourself standing on a street corner saying, "Didn't I see that somewhere before?"

As you can probably guess, I shared one this weekend.

This past Sunday I headed down to DC to pay my respects to President Ford (you guys know me and politics). Now, anyone who's been to the Capitol lately knows that since 9/11, there's no direct access to the building. You've got to go up a walkway on the right hand side (if you're facing The Mall), pass through security (seriously, why can't I ever get the hot Marine to feel me up?), and then slip into a side entrance. On extremely rare occasions you get to go around to the front door, and that's precisely what we did on Sunday.

I breezed through security (but someone still owes me a dinner!) and had made it to that part of the balcony where, when you look straight up, all you can see is the Dome. Kind of like this:

Now, let's face it, it's a pretty dome; it's an impressive dome; but, after almost an entire lifetime of visiting said dome and seeing it from The Mall, I'm sad to say that I've become used to it.
The woman behind me (roughly my mother's age which, if I hope to stay in the will, I will report as 35) however, had an entirely different point of view. She started gasping and shaking and looking up at the dome like a little girl.

"Oh, oh, OH," she exclaimed, prompting me to think that I had wandered into the diner scene in When Harry Met Sally.

I smiled at her, "It's beautiful isn't it. First time in DC?"

"Yes," she breathed. "We did it right, we did it right." She kept repeating herself while her friend -- clearly a DC suburbanite -- looked somewhat embarrassed.

"It's beautiful," I agreed, "But wait until you get inside."

While bummer-friend started relating the history of how this beautiful building was almost wiped out on 9/11, I wandered into the front steps. At first, I couldn't believe that you could reach a certain age (still 35 if my mother's reading this) without seeing Washington, DC. Then I realized that what I really was was jealous. I had grown up seeing The Dome, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Cherry Blossoms, and all the other DC sights that are supposed to invoke patriotism and pride, and now they were just buildings and trees to me. This woman, this 35 year old woman was seeing them for the first time at an age where they could really mean something and when she would never forget the feelings they invoked.

She made me think, and as I left the Capitol and headed down the steps towards The Mall, I paused for a moment to look up at the dome once more with new eyes. And while it wasn't quite the eyes of the "lady on the Capitol Dome," or the eyes of the woman seeing it for the first time, it wasn't through "eyes on the ground either."*


* Just in case anyone doesn't have a clue what I meant by that, here's the speech from Jimmy Stewart's Jefferson Smith...

Just get up off the ground, that's all I ask. Get up there with that lady that's up on top of this Capitol dome, that lady that stands for liberty. Take a look at this country through her eyes if you really want to see something. And you won't just see scenery; you'll see the whole parade of what Man's carved out for himself, after centuries of fighting. Fighting for something better than just jungle law, fighting so's he can stand on his own two feet, free and decent, like he was created, no matter what his race, color, or creed. That's what you'd see. There's no place out there for graft, or greed, or lies, or compromise with human liberties. And, uh, if that's what the grownups have done with this world that was given to them, then we'd better get those boys' camps started fast and see what the kids can do. And it's not too late, because this country is bigger than the Taylors, or you, or me, or anything else. Great principles don't get lost once they come to light. They're right here; you just have to see them again!

LA People...take a look please

Hi kids!

So, I'm not sure where everyone is these days, but this is the text of an email a friend from High School sent me earlier today. If you're in the LA Area, meet the criteria, and are interested in participating (and hello, you've SEEN the handymen on the TLC shows), please contact handymancasting@discovery.com directly.

If you don't live in LA (probably most of you), could you please forward the information on to any friends in the area that do? It's more fun to watch when it's people you know!!

Gracias!

Hi everyone. I work on a show called, "Take Home Handyman" that will air weekly on TLC -- starting in March. It's a fun, fast, 30-minute show where a famous carpenter meets you in Home Depot and goes to your home for 2 days to do some simple repairs (and teach you some do-it-yourself tricks).

I need your help!!! We are going to LA to film 5 episodes. One is an hour-long special with all of the girls from NBC's "The Office". (I know, I know -- I am SO excited to work with them! I'm hoping "Jim" will be there too!) I will be casting the other 4 episodes in the next month. If you know anyone in the Los Angeles area --
please send them this email. The information they need is below:

1. You must be over 18.
2. You must own your home/apt/condo or have permission from the landlord (they will be asked to sign a location release).
3. You must have someone (roommate/spouse/friend/etc) that can be there with you on-camera for both shooting days.
4. Home repairs we have done so far have included things like: replacing the carpet, replacing a kitchen floor, installing crown molding, replacing a front door, built-in shoe closet, replacing kitchen cabinets and counter tops, spackling walls, painting, etc.
5. We LOVE personality and anyone that is eager to learn home repair tricks!!!

All you have to do is email: Handymancasting@Discovery.com with a little bit about yourself, your friend/roommate/spouse that will be appearing with you, any and all repairs or ideas you have for your house, why you would be a great candidate for the show and pictures of you, your friend and your possible repairs. I will be calling people back and will be coming out to LA to meet with everyone, do an on-camera interview and film a walk-thru for TLC (within the next month). Our tentative dates for filming the episodes will be the end of February or possibly not until April (when filming for "The Office" goes on hiatus).