Blame Bloglines and the New York Times. I had been avoiding the news all day so that I could be suprised by the results of the Ladies' Figure Skating tonight. I was expecting a shock (like my girl Kimmie), though still hoping for Rory Gilmore to pull it off.
Thanks to the New York Times (All the news that's fit to print apparently really does extend to Figure Skating), I just found out the results. Holy cow....
Thursday, February 23, 2006
I get it now...
"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on" ~ Joseph Heller
Oh! So that's why Dick shot Harry!
Oh! So that's why Dick shot Harry!
If I paid $30, I would be pissed
So last night, B, C, and I went back to HurryDate. For those not familiar with the concept, you sit at a table and drink heavily while every six minutes, a man positions himself in front of you. If he's someone you can relate to in the first 30 seconds, you have an original conversation; if he's not, you go through the basics..."What do you do?" "Where do you live?" "How long have you lived there?" "Do you like it?" Really, if you have that conversation with me, you're in trouble.
Thank God it was free. It was like the Special Olympics of dating.
Now, I know awkward, but this was a new level beyond that. That level, if you're not familiar, is called "Painful." There was the guy who looked like a cross between Eddie Munster and Uncle Fester (short, bald, bird-like features), the guy who took 3 months off to go sailing, but stuttered and never made eye contact (he said he was going to finish his story via email...yipes!), the guy whose entire upper body rotated when he talked (close, right, back, left, close), the guy who asked me if I was good in bed (I told him that he'd never find out), and Carlos.
C liked Carlos for a one night stand -- for B or me. I can't remember how B felt about him, but I was far from impressed. He was nervous and that came through in the first 6 seconds. Then, it was like being on a date with Barbara Walters. Probing questions, rapid-fire, but no good answers when I asked the same questions of him. He demanded I tell him a secret (I don't tell secrets), but then took 3 minutes trying to come up with a secret himself. Not that I really minded, because it saved me from making conversation, but he did that whole gesturing and squirming thing and I couldn't tell if he was trying to think of a secret or have a bowel movement. We were saved by the buzzer, and all was well with the world.
Carlos's friend, Brian, (though I didn't know it at the time) was one of two normal men at the entire event. Of course, C thought he was gay, so I'm not sure how that's going to work out. We talked work, but mostly about the government contractors we work for. His do less than mine...They're GSA (the land of the $600 stapler). He made me laugh, and he made me end the evening glad I didn't stay in and clean the fridge.
After the event, we were doing the recap when Carlos walked up. "Oh no, ladies, you're talking about us. Would anyone like a drink?" B & I still needed to drink heavily, so we agreed. That's when we found out that he was with Brian and this other, delectable, boy that B & I were instantly attracted to. We talked for a while, I called Brian's friends and coworkers for references (his gay boss said he'd go out with him if he had the chance), and C got the skinny on the new kid. This guy, Jeremy, was adorable. I'm going out with him on Friday.
I may still go out with Brian too...Though the coworkers dating the same person thing is flashbacks of Walker's WVEC adventure. However, Carlos doesn't have a chance with any of us. C changed her opinion after hanging out with him. Sad how things go downhill in the 7th minute....
Thank God it was free. It was like the Special Olympics of dating.
Now, I know awkward, but this was a new level beyond that. That level, if you're not familiar, is called "Painful." There was the guy who looked like a cross between Eddie Munster and Uncle Fester (short, bald, bird-like features), the guy who took 3 months off to go sailing, but stuttered and never made eye contact (he said he was going to finish his story via email...yipes!), the guy whose entire upper body rotated when he talked (close, right, back, left, close), the guy who asked me if I was good in bed (I told him that he'd never find out), and Carlos.
C liked Carlos for a one night stand -- for B or me. I can't remember how B felt about him, but I was far from impressed. He was nervous and that came through in the first 6 seconds. Then, it was like being on a date with Barbara Walters. Probing questions, rapid-fire, but no good answers when I asked the same questions of him. He demanded I tell him a secret (I don't tell secrets), but then took 3 minutes trying to come up with a secret himself. Not that I really minded, because it saved me from making conversation, but he did that whole gesturing and squirming thing and I couldn't tell if he was trying to think of a secret or have a bowel movement. We were saved by the buzzer, and all was well with the world.
Carlos's friend, Brian, (though I didn't know it at the time) was one of two normal men at the entire event. Of course, C thought he was gay, so I'm not sure how that's going to work out. We talked work, but mostly about the government contractors we work for. His do less than mine...They're GSA (the land of the $600 stapler). He made me laugh, and he made me end the evening glad I didn't stay in and clean the fridge.
After the event, we were doing the recap when Carlos walked up. "Oh no, ladies, you're talking about us. Would anyone like a drink?" B & I still needed to drink heavily, so we agreed. That's when we found out that he was with Brian and this other, delectable, boy that B & I were instantly attracted to. We talked for a while, I called Brian's friends and coworkers for references (his gay boss said he'd go out with him if he had the chance), and C got the skinny on the new kid. This guy, Jeremy, was adorable. I'm going out with him on Friday.
I may still go out with Brian too...Though the coworkers dating the same person thing is flashbacks of Walker's WVEC adventure. However, Carlos doesn't have a chance with any of us. C changed her opinion after hanging out with him. Sad how things go downhill in the 7th minute....
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Mail Merge Nightmares
So think back 10 or so years ago. You’re a High School Senior, and you’re applying to colleges. You check the mail diligently every day, waiting to see if the mailman will bring the lovely and exciting big envelope or that puny and depressing skinny envelope. Remember kids, as we all know in the game of college acceptances, size matters.
Imagine then, that you’ve applied to the University of Georgia, and it’s your first choice school. The mailman comes, and he hands you a thick envelope. You’re pumped. You kiss the pet bulldog that you’ve had since you were a Kindergartner. You jump up and down like a little kid. You make like Sherman and triumphantly burn the safety school application you were still working on. You race to the mall and buy up all the black and red gear you can get your hands on. The next morning, you sail to your guidance counselor’s office and write your name and “UGA” on the “acceptance board” in big black and red letters. You’re done, you’re happy; you’re going to your first choice school. Now, it’s time to kick back, slack off, and focus on the all-important task of Prom Night event coordination.
And then…you find out that it was all a mistake.
That’s exactly what happened to the UGA Class (or Not) of 2010. Thanks to the efforts of a (hopefully now fired) secretary, the letters all went out, but they went to the wrong people. Now, the kids who were pumped and ready to go to UGA are sweating it out and wondering if they’re going to get a second letter that confirms the acceptance or the one that tells them, “Sorry, just kidding.”
Ugh.
Imagine then, that you’ve applied to the University of Georgia, and it’s your first choice school. The mailman comes, and he hands you a thick envelope. You’re pumped. You kiss the pet bulldog that you’ve had since you were a Kindergartner. You jump up and down like a little kid. You make like Sherman and triumphantly burn the safety school application you were still working on. You race to the mall and buy up all the black and red gear you can get your hands on. The next morning, you sail to your guidance counselor’s office and write your name and “UGA” on the “acceptance board” in big black and red letters. You’re done, you’re happy; you’re going to your first choice school. Now, it’s time to kick back, slack off, and focus on the all-important task of Prom Night event coordination.
And then…you find out that it was all a mistake.
That’s exactly what happened to the UGA Class (or Not) of 2010. Thanks to the efforts of a (hopefully now fired) secretary, the letters all went out, but they went to the wrong people. Now, the kids who were pumped and ready to go to UGA are sweating it out and wondering if they’re going to get a second letter that confirms the acceptance or the one that tells them, “Sorry, just kidding.”
Ugh.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Starbucks
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the movie Groundhog Day – that film where Bill Murray’s character, Phil Connors, is forced to live the same day over and over again. Though I know that it’s a movie, it’s pretty much the story of my life right now. Monday through Friday, I get up at the same time, I do the same things, and I watch helplessly as the days blend together. It’s getting so bad that the guy at Einstein Bros. starts putting my bagel and shmear together as soon as he sees my car in the parking lot (not an everyday occurrence, but I do order the same thing every time I’m there). Phil’s problem was, clearly, more drastic than this, but he took advantage of the monotony to right wrongs, save lives, and make changes within himself. The town and day may remain the same, but Phil himself changes in ways that no one could ever imagine.
Realizing that I’ve found myself in the same rut, I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to do things just a little bit differently each day. Whether it’s going to a different gym in the network (incidentally, the Bare Hills Merritt is a Mecca for anyone wanting to learn about all things “Brangelina.”), taking a back-road home, or getting my news from MSNBC.com instead of CNN, these little changes are designed to break me out of the rut that I’m in and get me thinking again.
This morning, it was the coffee.
As you may know, ordering Starbucks coffee is something of an art form. Tom Hanks’ character in You’ve Got Mail said:
The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.
Now I can make six decisions at once, and I’m comfortable with them. For me, it was always “Grande Skim, Sugar-free Hazelnut (sometimes Vanilla, but always sugar-free) Latte.” It’s comfortable, it rolls off the tongue, and it’s made life pretty easy. Because of the whole vanilla/hazelnut thing, I don’t have the luxury of walking into Starbucks and having my coffee ready for me as soon as I hit the door, but it’s pretty darn close. This morning, however, I decided to break the habit. This morning, I decided to order a different type of syrup in my grade skim latte. I was confident, I was ready. Sadly though, I was COMPLETELY CLUELESS ABOUT THE WHOLE ORDERING PROCESS. I had become so comfortable with the process that trying to shake it up, even a little, threw the entire thing off. When the cashier asked me what I wanted, I stared blankly at him. I didn’t know what size I wanted or the type of milk – and these decisions weren’t changing, only the syrup was. The ironic thing is that I’m convinced that if I had been fully awake and caffeinated (remember, folks, this was 5:45 AM), this wouldn’t have been an issue. However, considering that the only thing standing between caffination and me was my inability to order, I assure you that it was plenty frustrating. I could have returned to my “usual” order, and the barista (who, incidentally, was already holding a Grande cup and standing with her hand poised between Sugar-Free Hazelnut and Sugar-Free Vanilla) was clearly expecting me to do just that. Just in time, I recovered and stuck to my resolution.
And now, I sit here sipping my Grande Skim Almond Latte. It’s not the best cup of coffee in the world (My second choice was Raspberry, so I’ll try that next time), and it was a little harder to order than I would have liked. However, it’s made just the slightest, indescribable, difference in my day. As cheesy as it sounds, I’m proud of this little victory. This morning, at 5:45 AM, I broke out of autopilot and took the road less traveled by (for me anyway). And that has made all the difference.
Realizing that I’ve found myself in the same rut, I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to do things just a little bit differently each day. Whether it’s going to a different gym in the network (incidentally, the Bare Hills Merritt is a Mecca for anyone wanting to learn about all things “Brangelina.”), taking a back-road home, or getting my news from MSNBC.com instead of CNN, these little changes are designed to break me out of the rut that I’m in and get me thinking again.
This morning, it was the coffee.
As you may know, ordering Starbucks coffee is something of an art form. Tom Hanks’ character in You’ve Got Mail said:
The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.
Now I can make six decisions at once, and I’m comfortable with them. For me, it was always “Grande Skim, Sugar-free Hazelnut (sometimes Vanilla, but always sugar-free) Latte.” It’s comfortable, it rolls off the tongue, and it’s made life pretty easy. Because of the whole vanilla/hazelnut thing, I don’t have the luxury of walking into Starbucks and having my coffee ready for me as soon as I hit the door, but it’s pretty darn close. This morning, however, I decided to break the habit. This morning, I decided to order a different type of syrup in my grade skim latte. I was confident, I was ready. Sadly though, I was COMPLETELY CLUELESS ABOUT THE WHOLE ORDERING PROCESS. I had become so comfortable with the process that trying to shake it up, even a little, threw the entire thing off. When the cashier asked me what I wanted, I stared blankly at him. I didn’t know what size I wanted or the type of milk – and these decisions weren’t changing, only the syrup was. The ironic thing is that I’m convinced that if I had been fully awake and caffeinated (remember, folks, this was 5:45 AM), this wouldn’t have been an issue. However, considering that the only thing standing between caffination and me was my inability to order, I assure you that it was plenty frustrating. I could have returned to my “usual” order, and the barista (who, incidentally, was already holding a Grande cup and standing with her hand poised between Sugar-Free Hazelnut and Sugar-Free Vanilla) was clearly expecting me to do just that. Just in time, I recovered and stuck to my resolution.
And now, I sit here sipping my Grande Skim Almond Latte. It’s not the best cup of coffee in the world (My second choice was Raspberry, so I’ll try that next time), and it was a little harder to order than I would have liked. However, it’s made just the slightest, indescribable, difference in my day. As cheesy as it sounds, I’m proud of this little victory. This morning, at 5:45 AM, I broke out of autopilot and took the road less traveled by (for me anyway). And that has made all the difference.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
I'll take a side of crazy, please
Last night, I met Jason's new girlfriend. Oh my Lord, what on earth does he see in this crazy woman? Though she's pretty unfortunate looking, it's the personality that makes her completely undesirable to hang out with...
There's no mincing words...the girl is certifiable. Within 3 minutes of meeting her, she started talking about this lawsuit that she was involved in. Then, she wouldn't shut up about it for 3 hours. Apparently, her (now-ex) boyfriend sold her a house (for $500,000) and she didn't see the Home Inspection report before she settled. According to her, she kept asking about it, but he kept avoiding her on it. Three days after settling, he dumped her. Then, the roof caved in and there was $80,000 worth of damage.
So, she files a lawsuit and (surprise, surprise) the ex comes back. Then, he sends naked photos of her to a bunch of people in the Real Estate industry (including the neighbor). But she stays with him for a while longer, then dumps him and starts the lawsuit again.
Now, she's dating Jason and won't shut up about the damn lawsuit. She's also very clingy. In the three hours that Cassie and I were stuck in her company, she invited herself to Vegas and invited us to a Wizard's game and to her family's condo in Florida. I asked her if she had any friends in Baltimore, and she claimed she didn't b/c of her travel schedule. I'm suspecting it's because she's crazy.
She said one other thing that's bugging the hell out of me. She claims that her ex boyfriend has a hit out on her. Now, I'm not sure if she's lying to get attention, paranoid, or really does have a hit out on her, but any way you slice it, it's probably not a good idea for Jason to continue to see her.
Jason asked me (in front of her of course), for my opinion and I wouldn't give it. I'll wait for that when she's not there. I don't want her to go crazy on me thanks to a bad review!
There's no mincing words...the girl is certifiable. Within 3 minutes of meeting her, she started talking about this lawsuit that she was involved in. Then, she wouldn't shut up about it for 3 hours. Apparently, her (now-ex) boyfriend sold her a house (for $500,000) and she didn't see the Home Inspection report before she settled. According to her, she kept asking about it, but he kept avoiding her on it. Three days after settling, he dumped her. Then, the roof caved in and there was $80,000 worth of damage.
So, she files a lawsuit and (surprise, surprise) the ex comes back. Then, he sends naked photos of her to a bunch of people in the Real Estate industry (including the neighbor). But she stays with him for a while longer, then dumps him and starts the lawsuit again.
Now, she's dating Jason and won't shut up about the damn lawsuit. She's also very clingy. In the three hours that Cassie and I were stuck in her company, she invited herself to Vegas and invited us to a Wizard's game and to her family's condo in Florida. I asked her if she had any friends in Baltimore, and she claimed she didn't b/c of her travel schedule. I'm suspecting it's because she's crazy.
She said one other thing that's bugging the hell out of me. She claims that her ex boyfriend has a hit out on her. Now, I'm not sure if she's lying to get attention, paranoid, or really does have a hit out on her, but any way you slice it, it's probably not a good idea for Jason to continue to see her.
Jason asked me (in front of her of course), for my opinion and I wouldn't give it. I'll wait for that when she's not there. I don't want her to go crazy on me thanks to a bad review!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Effective Steps in dealing with IT...suggestions from one of the poor slaves in the biz.
IT folks are traditionally the most under-appreciated people in an organization. Everyone seems to want to complain about the systems that we put out when more often than not, it's a lack of understanding of the system or an unwillingness to respond to requests for input that made the system that way. Due to budget and timing constraints, we can't spend our days chasing down users who we've asked to provide input on the new system but have refused to provide it. However, it HURTS when those same users turn around and tell everyone how much the system sucks. Moreover, 90% of the "problems" that are created are the direct result of someone not listening or reading the training materials provided. All last summer, I was catering to ONE SCHOOL who wouldn't be able to find their way out of a paper bag if you drew an arrow. I kid you not, I got at least 3 phone calls a day for a month with the same exact question. They clearly weren't listening. I'd call back or drive out there to help on my way home (after working for 8 hours!!), walk them through it, and instead of going "Ok, you walked me through the first two. I think I got it," they would make me stand there while they went through 25 kids the exact same way (and this takes a least an hour) with the same questions being asked at the same points and clearly no learning going on. Then, at the end of the session, they would go, "So when are you ever going to publish a manual?" When I told her that I would do it as soon as I stopped getting 25 calls a week, she accused me of being "unhelpful" and "mean." Un-freakin-believable.
If you want your IT department to respond positively, seriously, follow these steps...
1) Look online for help materials and read what's out there before calling. If you don't understand it, at least acknowledge that you've read it and ask specific questions. If we get enough questions, we can change the help materials, but we'd like to know that we've put out there has been looked at.
2) When you call, have a smile in your voice or sound desperate. We know you're frustrated, but we'd rather help a user who sounds nice than be yelled at.
3) Say please and thank you!!!! We're people, not your personal slaves. You'd be amazed how much this doesn't happen.
4) Don't tell us that our system sucks...ask politely for changes. You'd hate your boss to tell you that your work sucks...why wouldn't we feel any differently?
5) If you're a girl and you get an IT guy on the phone, flirt a little. Just trust me on that one.
6) If you must leave a message, please leave a message that gives a little information about what you're calling about. "Call me back" (note the lack of a please too!) doesn't get you nearly as far as "I did X and the system blew up. Can you please call ASAP??" does. More importantly, please give us a little time to call back. One user I have loves to call and then send an email to my boss if I don't call back within 5 minutes. Yes, I'm serious.
7) We need specifics. As soon as something happens, write down WHAT YOU WERE DOING WHEN IT HAPPENED. If you pressed a button, we need to know that. If you did something you shouldn't have been doing, DON'T TRY TO HIDE IT!! We can probably get you out of the mess, but you need to tell us what you did to get yourself in the situation. This is a time to be completely honest. Also, if you're in a database, let us know what record you were working with...sometimes someone has done something to that specific record and it's the only one that's acting weird.
8) Know what you're asking for. I answered a specific question for one user and then she called my boss's boss to complain that I didn't answer her question correctly. When I was getting in trouble with my boss, it turned out the question had changed. If you get the question answered and it's not what you wanted, it's not the fault of the IT person who didn't answer the question you didn't ask.
9) Learn the hours of your favorite IT person and respect those hours. I work from 6-2, so it's really frustrating to get a call at 1:59 with a question that could wait until the next day. If it's an emergency, by all means, please call. I'll stay as long as you need me to to help. However, if you just want to know how to do something that you don't have to do until next week or request changes to the system (or are calling to tell me that my system sucks!), please save it for another day. Leaving for the day after hearing that your work is terrible is downright depressing.
10) When you call with a question about the system, and it's possible to get in, please be in the system before calling. It saves time on the call if you're ready.
Following all of these simple steps will help you get a better response from your helpful and nice IT department.
If you want your IT department to respond positively, seriously, follow these steps...
1) Look online for help materials and read what's out there before calling. If you don't understand it, at least acknowledge that you've read it and ask specific questions. If we get enough questions, we can change the help materials, but we'd like to know that we've put out there has been looked at.
2) When you call, have a smile in your voice or sound desperate. We know you're frustrated, but we'd rather help a user who sounds nice than be yelled at.
3) Say please and thank you!!!! We're people, not your personal slaves. You'd be amazed how much this doesn't happen.
4) Don't tell us that our system sucks...ask politely for changes. You'd hate your boss to tell you that your work sucks...why wouldn't we feel any differently?
5) If you're a girl and you get an IT guy on the phone, flirt a little. Just trust me on that one.
6) If you must leave a message, please leave a message that gives a little information about what you're calling about. "Call me back" (note the lack of a please too!) doesn't get you nearly as far as "I did X and the system blew up. Can you please call ASAP??" does. More importantly, please give us a little time to call back. One user I have loves to call and then send an email to my boss if I don't call back within 5 minutes. Yes, I'm serious.
7) We need specifics. As soon as something happens, write down WHAT YOU WERE DOING WHEN IT HAPPENED. If you pressed a button, we need to know that. If you did something you shouldn't have been doing, DON'T TRY TO HIDE IT!! We can probably get you out of the mess, but you need to tell us what you did to get yourself in the situation. This is a time to be completely honest. Also, if you're in a database, let us know what record you were working with...sometimes someone has done something to that specific record and it's the only one that's acting weird.
8) Know what you're asking for. I answered a specific question for one user and then she called my boss's boss to complain that I didn't answer her question correctly. When I was getting in trouble with my boss, it turned out the question had changed. If you get the question answered and it's not what you wanted, it's not the fault of the IT person who didn't answer the question you didn't ask.
9) Learn the hours of your favorite IT person and respect those hours. I work from 6-2, so it's really frustrating to get a call at 1:59 with a question that could wait until the next day. If it's an emergency, by all means, please call. I'll stay as long as you need me to to help. However, if you just want to know how to do something that you don't have to do until next week or request changes to the system (or are calling to tell me that my system sucks!), please save it for another day. Leaving for the day after hearing that your work is terrible is downright depressing.
10) When you call with a question about the system, and it's possible to get in, please be in the system before calling. It saves time on the call if you're ready.
Following all of these simple steps will help you get a better response from your helpful and nice IT department.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)