Not that there was anything wrong, per se, with the dating site in question. It's just that it seemed to me that I'd go out with men from that dating site, and then almost immediately meet a perfectly wonderful guy in the next bar or restaurant I'd walk into. He wouldn't on Voldematch, but we'd still end up hitting it off much, much better than the person to whom I had been introduced via the dating site.
Probably not what they had in mind with their "six month guarantee."
Either way, since things have been going so well in the real world, and I've been extremely busy, I waited until yesterday to actually submit my resignation. The "confirmation message" read something like....
"Thank you for submitting your resignation to Voldematch. Over the next 181 days, please take advantage of our site to think about what you've done because, obviously, meeting men in the real world isn't something we prefer you to do. You should continue to use our site. In fact, we'll help you out with that. We'll charge you for the next six months even though you have like 15 hours left on your current subscription.
Obviously, italics added for translation of actual message.
Still, it made me wonder. It was the last day of my subscription, but why, if they were claiming that I had at least 181 days left were they charging me for the 180 day subscription. Sure it was Sunday, but they weren't going to renew on the previous business day, were they?
One quick check of my bank account revealed they were. Great....
Since I couldn't do anything about it yesterday, I waited until I got home from work to take care of the "problem." I'm pretty sure it didn't help that I had this total idiot calling me every five minutes at work until I finally snatched the project away from her. Yet, I digress. Twenty minutes of searching on Voldematch revealed absolutely nothing regarding a phone number. Google helped, but since it also revealed about 10,000 messages on a BBB site about how horrible the site-which-will-not-be-named is about Customer Service, I was feeling discouraged.
Still, I figured I'd give it a shot. Using my best Southern accent (hoping to speak to a guy, I'll admit, plus, I was calling Texas), I called the Customer Service line, obviously staffed by the twin sister of the woman who called me every five minutes at work today. I explained my math and my position, and she informed me that she'd be happy to refund me a partial refund of $66.
"Sixty-six bucks?" I exclaimed. "But my card was charged, illegally I might add, since 180 days is less than the number given to me when I resigned, over 100!!
"Well, um," the tech-from-hell said. "That's all I'm authorized to do."
"Ok, well, I've met someone offline," I stammer. Here I go, explaining my dating life to someone who really has no business hearing about it. "But let's just say that it doesn't go well (kiss of death = me asking him to teach me to drive stick). How much access to the site would the $40 get me?"
"Oh, we'll shut down your access today," she replies.
If anyone out there doesn't see the problem, I believe that positions are available in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. I was dumbfounded. Again, I explained my logic to her...how, when I cancelled, the confirmation message clearly stated 181 days; how six-months is 180 days; how I'm not going to be using the site; how $40 a day is more than most hookers on Hollywood Boulevard who don't resemble Julia Roberts make; how occasionally hookers that do resemble Julia Roberts find love and they don't need a dating site to do it.
Not that I necessarily resemble Julia Roberts, but I look a lot more like her than your average crack-whore on The Block. I'm just saying.
It was just after the hooker reference when the tech-from-hell announced that she was going to "see what she could do." I was then put on hold for not one, but two full Journey songs. Apparently, Steve Perry is big down in DFW.
Then, Leslie/Jennifer (I still never quite got her name) got on the phone. Leslie/Jennifer announced herself as a supervisor and explained that the tech-from-hell had explained the "entire situation," (no word on whether or not the tech-from-hell actually included the hooker references) and that the company was willing to refund the entire $100 on a "one-time-only basis." Apparently, I had used logic which was inarguable. Well, either that or they were eager to get rid of me since my choice of feminist love heroines was, at best, questionable.
As of 3:30 this afternoon, I will no longer receive emails from uneducated men with 5 kids, 2 ex-wives, and about 15 years on me. Plus, I will get a full refund. Things are looking up.
5 comments:
You could've told them I was giving them my money to hear from the uneducated fathers of 14 instead.....
Yikes, they charge $100.00 for those things? I've signed up on a few, but never ponied up my credit card. Guess it's just as well. I guess the heavy entry fee doesn't do much to keep the riff-raff away. Kudos for giving the customer service folks hell.
Sounds like we need Harry Potter to come to the rescue and take Voldematch down once and for all. Or at least teach them some basic adding skills.
Voldematch! I love it!! And it's cousin, Ewhatajoke! I'm amazed at the men I've met over the last two months who have paid money to try to scam others. I can't tell you how many "winks" I got from people across the world - um, hello, what part of geographically acceptable do you NOT understand!! Inevitably, these men are widowed with children (was there some huge epidemic that we didn't hear about?!) and miss their late wives so much they can't bear to talk about them. One German fellow who Ewhatajoke matched me up with ended up having his profile pulled by them. Hey, I figured out long before they did he was a scammer!!
While I'm ranting, how is that every available man is a scuba diving, rock climbing, dancing, cooking, shopping expert? Seriously! And, this is the worst - out of the hundreds, thousands? that I've viewed, less than 5% are willing to accept someone who is not, "slender, athletic, or toned." If these men are looking for Barbie, they need to visit aisle 10 in Toys R Us. Now, I'm not hideously obese by any stretch of the imagination, but I am full-figured, yet still get no response to most of my winks or I seem to get the dregs of society! And to think, I paid ONLY $34.95 a month for this. I'm thinking Mr. Right's gonna have to knock on my door, because I put the Avada Kedavra curse on Voldematch!!
wow! Prices have gone up!! I paid $19.95 for one month and was lucky to meet ye old ball und chain early on. While it was the best 20 bucks I've ever spent, I doubt I would have been willing to part with a hundred!! and congrats for meeting someone on the way to another date! that kicks ass!
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