Whose @#$#%@ Idea Was This?

Actual sign worn on a woman's shirt on Saturday. The woman running with her had a sign that read: It was YOUR'S, Mom!

Some of you guys got text messages from me on Saturday claiming that I finished the Baltimore Half Marathon in 2:50:40. If you didn’t, I’m sorry, the phone was dying a slow and agonizing death. Kinda like me at that very moment. ;)

Turns out that my time was based on the clock that I passed as I went wheezing and hacking (though still running) my way into M&T Bank Stadium. What I didn’t take into consideration, however, was that it took 2 minutes (we started and stopped a few times because, well, I don’t know why) to get to the “official” starting line from where I was standing (without my iPod b/c I followed the rules – still bitter) when the bell went off. Soooo, my OFFICIAL finishing time shaved two minutes off of that.

2:48:40

Is it great? Not really. I’m in the 39% of my age group, and I don’t think they offer an ISAT curve. However, I did finish before the VT/Duke game reached the end of the first quarter. Small victories, right?

A few observations:

• Apparently it’s ok to take candy from strangers when you’re running along a marathon course – though, had I looked at the girl with the Swedish Fish, I would have realized I actually knew her. Dude with the gummy bears, not so much.
• According to the guys with the beer shots, you’re allowed to drink before the 3 mile mark (where the half- and full marathons merge). I passed, but major props on the idea.
• When you know you’re not going to win, it’s more fun to run in costume…Elvis, the New Jersey Light House, a few Miller Light Cans, a couple of guys in kilts, an old guy in a powder blue tuxedo, and a juggler made for interesting watching. Any chance someone out there knows where I can get a Duke Dog costume for next year?
• I am more than willing to jog through parts of Baltimore that I would NEVER dare to drive through without the doors locked, the windows rolled up, and a can of mace in the glove box – provided I have 15,000 people with me for backup.
• Funeral processions and marathons do not mix – we won.
• “It’s all downhill from here” is not any sort of encouragement unless it’s true. If you’re yelling it on Mile 11 and you’re standing in front of a hill, do not be surprised when 30 participants “miss” your extended high five and get your face instead.
• Skinny courses – though flat – around a lake and BANANAS (whole) do not mix. I’ve seen enough Marx Bros. movies to tell you how this was going to end.
• When a pregnant woman (due in 6 weeks!) beats you to the half-way point, it’s time to rethink your training strategy.
• If my friend Jen and I were antelopes and there was a lion on the course looking for dinner, Jen would escape with absolutely no problem. I, on the other hand, am best served with cranberry sauce and a nice Pino Grigio.

Officially, I'm hooked. The Frederick Half-Marathon is on May 4 (more than six months away!), and it's only $40 to sign up before New Year's Eve. Who's with me?