Hate Speech in Shades of Grey

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last two weeks, you’ve heard the story. If you haven’t, the basic premise is simple: Michael Richards (Seinfeld’s Kramer) got up in the middle of the LA’s Laugh Factory to do a set that wasn’t appreciated by certain members of the audience. In response to these hecklers, he unleashed a shocking racial tirade that would be best not repeated anywhere. Seriously, it’s not a pretty sight.

Almost immediately, Richards found himself raked across the coals (rightfully so) by members of the black community. In response, he went out and immediately began a round of apologies, most of which were deemed “insincere” in light of the new Seinfeld DVD hitting stores this week. Website after website called for the boycott of the DVD set, and it’s pretty much a certainty at this point that Richards is not going to “work in this town again” for a very, very long time.

Being that this is the third high-profile, hate-speech incident involving a member of the Hollywood community, the suggestion has been made that it would probably be better if we eliminated certain words from our lexicon entirely, namely the word that Richards used (starts with an “n” ends with outrage). While this is certainly an interesting option, and I firmly believe that hate-speech does not belong in my household, the fact of the matter is that part of the beauty of the Constitution is the right to express an opinion, no matter how incendiary. In other words, fundamentally, I must agree with Voltaire: “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” We’ve lost too many of our freedoms in the last five years, for us not to embrace any example of free speech, no matter how disgusting we may find it personally. If you’re offended by someone else’s speech, leave or use your rights to make your own point. If we start censoring each other, we, as a society, are no better than the individuals who swore to uphold and defend the Constitution and then walked all over it in the interest of Homeland Security. And, by the way, parents, it is totally a good idea to use the idiots of the world to teach your children that “sugar-tits,” while certainly creative, is not a term that should be used on the playground or anywhere else in polite society.

What I find interesting, however, is that there seems to be an inconsistent message in Hollywood regarding what is and is not acceptable hate-speech. No, I’m not talking about the use of the n-word being “ok” when Richard Pryor features it as a part of his act, but “completely racist” when it’s Larry the Cable Guy employing the term. Sure, that’s definitely confusing, but I think the unspoken agreement is that if you’re a member of the group, you can use otherwise offensive terms as terms of endearment; if you’re not, prepare to see backlash if it comes flying out of your mouth.

Instead, what I’m trying to get my head around is the idea that Michael Richards is desperately trying to salvage his career while Isaiah Washington is still gainfully employed on TV’s hottest show and has not been labeled by TMZ.com as a “prejudiced celebrity” (they’ve got a slideshow, go check it out).

Scarcely a month ago, a message was sent by ABC that while “outing” someone as an African American is not ok, outing someone as a homosexual clearly is. In the midst of much hyped on-set brawl between himself and Patrick Dempsey, while using words that were of such an “extreme nature,” that the National Enquirer refused to publish his name (and when the bat-boy people refuse to tell the “full story,” you KNOW it’s got to be bad) and physical violence, Washington yanked costar T. R. Knight out of the closet and dumped his sex life in the laps of the American public. This wasn’t an In and Out/Tom Hanks Oscar speech situation here either. It was Washington, shoving Dempsey and screaming that he wasn’t his “little f**got” like Knight. Washington later issued a pat apology and the ABC spin machine released statements saying that the issue was “over.” Shortly thereafter, he cancelled his appearance on Ellen Degeneres’ show and headed to Oprah where he “explained” the incident away by claiming it was a “combination of fatigue, pride, and passion.” Knight, Dempsey, and the rest of the cast went along with it, and Oprah didn’t push the issue. When members of the online community suggested that Washington be fired (and possibly replaced by ER’s Eriq La Salle), Shonda Rhimes leapt to Washington’s defense and suggested that the people calling for Washington’s exit were themselves “racist” as they saw two black men as interchangeable. Really, I don’t think that was the intent of the original post, but then since I wasn’t the original poster, I can’t speak for them. However, neither can Rhimes – and she should have sought to clarify the intention instead of shooting her mouth off. After all, it’s quite possible that the poster simply wanted to make the point that on the Thursday night doctor show, La Salle is far superior to Washington as the overworked, stressed-out, brilliant surgeon – no matter what his skin color is.

The fact, however, remains that the double standard employed by ABC (surprising because most of my gay friends came into my life thanks to an internship with the Walt Disney Company) and the MSM simply must be addressed. Washington should be required to make the same efforts as were required from both Richards and Gibson after their incidents. Washington should appear on talk show after talk show begging for his continued success as an actor like society is demanding Richards do now. He should voluntarily remove himself from the cast for the time being and meet with members of the gay community like Gibson is doing with the Jewish community. He should issue an apology that sounds like less of an excuse and more of a sincere effort to make amends. ABC, Rhimes, and the cast of Grey’s Anatomy should stop trying to sweep the incident back into the closet and send the message that Washington’s speech was just as offensive and hurtful as that of the other actors who were stupid enough to open their mouths this year in “fatigue, pride, passion, and/or inebriation” (pick an excuse). I’m not saying that Washington be censored entirely, I’m just saying that what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander in the eyes of Washington’s employers and the show’s corporate sponsors and fans. Erase the grey zone and show the world that hate-speech, no matter who speaks it or who its victim is, has no place in our workplace, our living rooms, or our lives.

Let's review...

You do realize that whatever you put in the comments section of someone's Myspace account will be broadcast to the world, don't you? Good. Some people don't get this, and it's really sad when that happens.

My apologies to those of you who have already heard this story, but it's still bugging me.

Over the weekend, I checked my myspace account and learned that a friend of mine is "most likely" going to be shipped out to Iraq sometime before the end of the year. He wasn't making a big deal out of it, just decided to update us with his new address in Texas and mentioned that he wasn't sure how long he'd actually be there.

I was trying to send him a reply to his post when I accidentally clicked the wrong button and ended up at his profile. That's where I discovered the other piece of news that he hadn't decided to share with the masses (but his wife did!). Apparently, the two have been having some "problems," and while he's apparently trying to work things out, she's airing their dirty laundry all over his comments section. Even though she doesn't come right out and say it, it's sadly obvious what her comments mean. As we all know, I can be dense, but I'm not that stupid!

I'm shocked that he's kept them up there, but he's either not seen them or he doesn't want to take them down for fear of upsetting her. Either way, this is one of those dramas that probably shouldn't be played out in the online community, especially since there are kids involved.

The problem, of course, is how to handle this. Do I offer support, even though he didn't tell me himself (though he's left the comments online)?? Do I just pretend that I haven't seen anything? I'm leaning towards the latter, but then that could be my overwhelming reluctance to integrate myself in anything unpleasant.

And no, anyone who was going to ask, I'm not telling you who the guy is.

What time is the 3:00 parade?

For as long as I can remember, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has been a part of my family's Thanksgiving tradition. As most of you know, my dad marched in Broadway's Longest Running Show as a Midshipman, but he hasn't been back (for the parade) since. With Jules in NYC this year, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to haul the Thanksgiving party train up to NY to experience the parade live and wander around the city staring at storefront window Christmas decorations and David Blaine's latest act of stupidity.

The plan was to head out to the parade route and take in the sites. The problem, however, is that I seem to have caught "something," and the rain isn't helping. So, I sent the family out into the elements, and I'm home, watching the Broadway shows (usually my favorite part since I can check out new stuff -- though I saw most of this year's offerings on the Tony's) and babysitting the felien. It's a pretty good trade-off if you ask me.

So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Whether you're braving the elements on the streets of New York, firmly ensconced in front of a television, or anywhere in between. I'll see you guys when I get back!!

Woot!

Just saw on CNN.com that the OJ book and special are both cancelled!! There is hope for humanity after all!!

Though, I will still probably boycott all of Fox anyway. Shouldn't be hard either since their shows, frankly, suck.

To Jesus, Mama, and Jennifer Ray

I love those weddings where you spend the whole weekend caught up in the love and excitement of the happy couple. They're especially fun when the Bride is emanating a glow that could probably light up Hampden's Miracle on 34th Street for a week and a half and the Groom is trying to "play it cool," but is clearly not succeeding. Make no doubt about it, these were two extremely excited people who were looking beyond the day itself and towards the next fifty years.

The title (and our table's toast) comes from Becca's conversation with her mother. Becs had left her keys somewhere in Baltimore, so her mom had to send her the other set. When Becca heard that Mama had found the keys, she exclaimed, "Thank You Jesus!" and her mother replied, "and Mama." It was cute, and easy to remember.

As with all the best things, the story is best told through photos and music. The video's a tad long, but it's their first dance song followed by a little something for the "casual shots."



One more quick message for the Happy Couple:

Walt Disney said, "When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably." Jen and Rob, you've probably figured it out by now, but you're not the only ones who believe in you. Frankly, you make it so easy to. You radiate when you're around each other, and your love extends to your family and your friends. Thanks for your love and support in so many ways. If we all could return even half back to you, you'll be set for a lifetime.

WWdN: In Exile: possible huge leonid storm this weekend

Just because I recommend getting all of your science facts and updates from a member of the Star Trek family...

WWdN: In Exile: possible huge leonid storm this weekend

If anyone doesn't have anything to do late, late Saturday night (like after the wedding and the after-party), I totally recommend this. I actually ended up going outside to check out the same 2001 storm that he's talking about and even though we were down near the lights of Dulles airport (and not the desert of California), we could still make out a couple of shooting stars.

Yes, I realize that it happens every year, but why put it off again? You'll be out Saturday night anyway, so just look up and take in the wonder.

Overheard in the office

While getting my hair trimmed last night, I overheard this conversation:

Stylist: So, do you need a passport to go?
Customer: Um, no, it's a state.
Stylist: No it's not. I swear, my dad goes every
year and he needs a passport.
Customer: No, Hawaii is a state.
Stylist: But what about Alaska?
Customer: Yeah, you don't need a passport for that
either.

As it turned out, the place her dad went every year was actually Puerto Rico. For the record, you don't need a passport for that either....

They're kidding, right

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm having a serious problem this year with the spirit of Christmas. Probably because, well, it's way too early and also because the average temperature this week has been hovering around 72 degrees. I respect Al Gore, I voted for Al Gore, but come on, if this is global warming, totally sign me up!

I'm used to it in the retail world. Usually, the body isn't even cold on Halloween when the retail elves swoop into a store in the dead of night and attempt to turn it into a winter wonderland. There's something oddly comforting familiar, right, just odd. About seeing a bleeding head on clearance next to a cherubic animatronic snowman. But, the last 28 years have taught me that yes, Virginia-girl, there is a Santa Claus, and the faster he arrives in stores, the better the holiday economic season will be.

Sometimes though, it moves too fast. Like yesterday. Yesterday morning, I went to Starbucks to get my first pumpkin latte of the season and found out that not only had they already replaced the selection with the peppermints, egg nogs and gingerbreads that scream "Christmas," but the decor had switched to a winter wonderland.

The disappointment I felt was like a reindeer kicking me in the face. However, I get it. I accept it. I'm saving the points. I'm moving on.

Or at least I thought I was until I returned from DC last night (where my friend and I shared dinner OUTSIDE because it was so freaking warm) to find this in my neighbor's front yard:


Yes, those are Candy Canes; yes, that's ribbon on the lamp-post; and yes, if you look closely you should be able to make out St. Nick himself on the front door.

Now, lest you think I'm about to steal Tiny Tim's crutch and run maniacally screaming down the street, I assure you that you're more than mistaken. I will get into the Christmas spirit. Just let me build up some enthusiasm for it. Let it get colder. Let the sights and smells sneak up on me. Let me wake up one morning to a freaking winter wonderland. Let Advent begin. Let that fat man make his way into Herald Square.

Christmas is special because it comes once a year. Let's keep it that way.

Random Observation

You’re pretty much guaranteed for a long day when the ladies room smells like Microwave Popcorn at 7:45 in the morning. 

A woman's place

Is in the House, the Senate, and the Supreme Court.

I saw that on a button sold at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History a few years ago, and I believe it completely sums up what happened last night. This is an exciting time to be a Democrat. This is an exciting time to be a woman.


One hunting trip between Dick and George, and this woman could be President!

I didn't say I was prompt...

But at least I'm finally posting the photos from my HS reunion.

The song is "Kings and Castles" by Michael Tolcher, and no, that's not me in the cover capture.


Cox 10 Year Reunion

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