If I paid $30, I would be pissed

So last night, B, C, and I went back to HurryDate. For those not familiar with the concept, you sit at a table and drink heavily while every six minutes, a man positions himself in front of you. If he's someone you can relate to in the first 30 seconds, you have an original conversation; if he's not, you go through the basics..."What do you do?" "Where do you live?" "How long have you lived there?" "Do you like it?" Really, if you have that conversation with me, you're in trouble.

Thank God it was free. It was like the Special Olympics of dating.

Now, I know awkward, but this was a new level beyond that. That level, if you're not familiar, is called "Painful." There was the guy who looked like a cross between Eddie Munster and Uncle Fester (short, bald, bird-like features), the guy who took 3 months off to go sailing, but stuttered and never made eye contact (he said he was going to finish his story via email...yipes!), the guy whose entire upper body rotated when he talked (close, right, back, left, close), the guy who asked me if I was good in bed (I told him that he'd never find out), and Carlos.

C liked Carlos for a one night stand -- for B or me. I can't remember how B felt about him, but I was far from impressed. He was nervous and that came through in the first 6 seconds. Then, it was like being on a date with Barbara Walters. Probing questions, rapid-fire, but no good answers when I asked the same questions of him. He demanded I tell him a secret (I don't tell secrets), but then took 3 minutes trying to come up with a secret himself. Not that I really minded, because it saved me from making conversation, but he did that whole gesturing and squirming thing and I couldn't tell if he was trying to think of a secret or have a bowel movement. We were saved by the buzzer, and all was well with the world.

Carlos's friend, Brian, (though I didn't know it at the time) was one of two normal men at the entire event. Of course, C thought he was gay, so I'm not sure how that's going to work out. We talked work, but mostly about the government contractors we work for. His do less than mine...They're GSA (the land of the $600 stapler). He made me laugh, and he made me end the evening glad I didn't stay in and clean the fridge.

After the event, we were doing the recap when Carlos walked up. "Oh no, ladies, you're talking about us. Would anyone like a drink?" B & I still needed to drink heavily, so we agreed. That's when we found out that he was with Brian and this other, delectable, boy that B & I were instantly attracted to. We talked for a while, I called Brian's friends and coworkers for references (his gay boss said he'd go out with him if he had the chance), and C got the skinny on the new kid. This guy, Jeremy, was adorable. I'm going out with him on Friday.

I may still go out with Brian too...Though the coworkers dating the same person thing is flashbacks of Walker's WVEC adventure. However, Carlos doesn't have a chance with any of us. C changed her opinion after hanging out with him. Sad how things go downhill in the 7th minute....